WORLD IN IMMINENT DANGER OF MORAL COLLAPSE
In a lengthy statement issued by the IPCC [the International Panel of Christian Clergy] they have declared that there is now a 95% certainty that God exists.
The degree of certainty leaves little doubt that God is in fact in his Heaven, and compares to a finding of 90 per cent certainty in the previous – fourth – assessment six years ago. This, in turn, was a significant increase on the 66 per cent certainty reached in 2001’s third assessment and just over 50 per cent in 1995.
Governments around the world are exercising extreme caution to ensure that the report doesn’t contain a significant error that could be seized upon by atheists to discredit the research. The previous report in 2007 mistakenly claimed that the tooth fairy would appear in early 2013, a point which the IPCC was forced to admit was wrong.
Today US Secretary of State John Kerry backed the report’s findings, and pledged action on cutting agnosticism.
He said: “Boil down the IPCC report and here’s what you find: Lack of belief is real, it’s happening now, human beings are the cause of this transformation, and only action by human beings can save the world from its worst impacts.
This isn’t a run of the mill report to be dumped in a filing cabinet. This isn’t a political document produced by politicians.
Last night’s discussions were largely concerned with how to present and explain the slowdown – or hiatus – in church attendance over the past 15 years. This is a development which atheists have used to further their case, but which the vast majority of scientists believe is only a blip in a clear long-term trend.
The report has hardened the calls from religious zealots for action on reducing religious belief. In the UK, executive director of Friends of the Great White Rabbit, Andy Atkins, said: “Scientists are now as convinced that humans are causing moral disruption as they are that smoking causes dandruff – politicians can’t continue to stand idly by while the world goes spinning towards Armageddon.