I’m a lumberjack
Around forty five years ago my father and I went on a raid up the valley.
We raided a birchwood for saplings and brought home a whole load of ‘em in the boot of the car [an MG 1100, if anyone is interested].
In the intervening years, those saplings along with a whole mixture of other species have grown voraciously and we now have the two woods on The Manor – the North Wood and the South Wood.
I noticed a couple of years ago that one of the trees looked a tad sickly. It was leaning precariously out over the lane and looked in imminent danger of collapse. However it didn’t so I sort of put it on the long finger. I mentally names it “The Dead Tree”, and left it at that.
We had some fairly strong winds for the last few days. I didn’t think twice about it. But yesterday I had to go out. The first thing I saw was that one of the larger branches off the Dead Tree had fallen. I examined it for blood but it seemed clean enough and if it had killed someone, presumably someone would have mentioned it.
I realised that something had to be done. There were two more major branches that looked like they wanted to take a dive so I decided the time had come. for some action.
Tree felling is NOT a solo job, so I phoned around the lads from the pub. Amazingly not one of them was available. A couple were even washing their hair which is a first. The fact that it was still howling a gale and pissing out of the heavens might have had something to do with it though.
Some one has nicked my power chain-saw and all I had was an electric one, so my first job was to find a few extension leads and string them all together to get power out to the lane. I managed that with about three feet to spare. I shinned up the ladder and started work.
Take it from me – standing at the top of a twenty foot ladder hanging on for dear life with one hand and wildly swinging an electric chain-saw with the other hand while in a gale and pissing rain is NOT a fun way to spend an afternoon.
Rain + Aluminium Ladder + Electric Chain-saw = Not Good Idea.
I finally got the first branch, but then ran into a problem. There were only two ways I could prop the ladder near the second branch. One way I couldn’t reach the branch properly and the second way involved standing on the ladder directly underneath the branch to be cut. Again, not a very good idea.
In the end I just took the bruit force approach. I just cut the fucking tree at the base and let the whole lot crash down. It made a bit of a mess of the neighbour’s hedge and he really shouldn’t have parked his car just there either, but you can’t make an omelette etc etc.
I’m knackered today. I still have to go out at some stage and cut the fucking tree up into something that will fit into a fireplace but that can wait.
At least I’ll have some fuel this winter?
I sometimes think you must be a little mad.
Rain + Electric Chain-saw = DEFINITELY Not Good Idea!!!!!
If a job has to be done, it has to be done. Maybe I should have got Herself to take a photograph or two of me up the ladder [with no hard hat, ear-muffs or plastic goggles]? I could have sent it into Health and Safety to give them all heart attacks?
You can't burn green wood! That wood needs to be on the ground for at least a year before you can burn it in your fireplace unless you want creosote and lots of other goo sticking to the inside of your chimney. Now if by fireplace you mean an outdoor fire pit then by all means burn away all you want.
Don't worry – it'll be at least a year before I get around to cutting it. Maybe I'll just leave it all rot? Insects love rotting wood for nesting in.
You don't want to be burning white birch either even if the damn stuff is dry. It will fill your chimney full of creosote in no time flat. Yellow birch isn't that much better but it can be mixed with hardwood safely enough. White birch bark is great for starting fires though so peel it off and leave the rest for the birds. If it's white that is.
You are doing it wrong. you are suppose to sit on the branch you are cutting. Then the tree falls and branch remains suspended in mid air. I've seen it on TV hundreds of times and we all know everything on TV is true, unless it contradicts something we read on the internet.
But I did read it on the Interweb. It's up at the top of this page.
Grandad,that's how real men start a chainsaw. Make sure the tigger is locked on and the switch is set to ON.
You forgot to mention the insulating tape securely wrapped around the safety lock to keep it in the On position.
Get a petrol chainsaw for firewood. God, the times I have come close to sawing bits off meself, adds a bit of spice to life…..
I had one but someone "borrowed" it, and I can't remember who to blame. The electric one works quite well and at least I can cut logs near a power point and without having to use a ladder. I might even wait until a calm day with no rain….