Training Day
I bet you’re all curious to know where I was yesterday?
OK. Maybe not, but I’ll tell you anyway.
I have always had a more than passing interest in railways. I suppose it comes of having a father who was one of the top engineers in C.I.E. [as they were known then] and visiting him in the engineering offices in Westland Row Station [as it was known then].
I received a call from our K8 the other day to say that she would be on duty at a model railway exhibition up in Dun Laoire. Maybe I should explain that my daughter seems to have forsaken the life of booze and drugs and is training to be a paramedic [and she is doing damn well – I’m proud of her] and frequently gets calls to man first aid stations.
It was a long old haul to get there, and when I arrived in Dun Laoire things didn’t improve. Traffic was fucking woeful and there was no parking to be had anywhere. I ended up walking miles.
It was worth it though.
The displays were damned impressive. The old hankering to build my own model railway kicked in again but I resisted the temptation to buy anything. Too expensive and anyway I don’t have the room at The Manor for a decent layout.
There was an excellent model of O’Connell Street as it was back in ‘49, complete with running trams and busses.
That brought back great memories because of course Nelson’s Pillar was there. I will regret to my dying day that little experiment Stony and I carried out with the concoction we made back in the school laboratory. It was never meant to be that dramatic, and Dublin has never really been the same since.
Then there was the 10.15 express hurtling through Tywold Station
And a ballast train powering out of the curve past O’Leary’s Garden Centre [spot the glaring spelling error! Heh!]
All in all, a damn good show.
I decided to take the train home.
And they are not getting it back.
I did wonder. Stop thief – nice souvenir though.
If you are going to take a souvenir, make sure it's a good one.
And there's no ' in O'Leary's.
Two apostrophes missing – O'Leary's, not OLearys, but that's not the main error.
Ah ha – Garden Center NOT Garden Centre!!
Is this a quiz ? What's the prize ?
You can have a go with my souvenir.
GD, so pleased to hear you are a train enthusiast. Having built my first layout in the 1960s, I am still enamoured and planning the next – and probably last – layout in a new shed to replace a decrepit garage. With your extensive Manor holdings, surely you could find space for a suitable shed to house a large representative model of all Ireland? Come on, use some of the vast accumulation of ill-gotten gains in the bank to provide a worthwhile creative outlet for your many talents.
There are several problems. The main one is that I like detail so would probably have to go for a OO guage. This means a LOT of space is required and this happens to be a highly efficient house – there is little or no spare space. I would therefore have to construct a rather large shed to take the kit and that would be a little steep for the old pension.
I could go down the route of an N guage but somehow I think it would just frustrate me.
Don't go to N gauge – the eyesight required is well beyond us OAPs. Take a look at some of the main magazines and you could find all you need in 00 could easily be fitted into a small shed. Surely herself could sell some jewellery?
An elevated track on shelves running several feet off the ground. Then cut through some walls to make a few passages, the entire manor becomes large layout. Your not really using any of walls that high up anyway.
Of course herself might be tad bit upset when the 12:05 express rolls through the bedroom each night. Penny would have a delightful time trying to "catch" the train.
What really pisses me off is that I used to have a fully working steam locomotive around 18" long including tender. It was a real beauty, but it got nicked when we moved house around forty years ago. With that, I could have set up a track around the garden which would have been brilliant.
It's the small shed that's the problem. It would need to be a bit bigger than just lawnmower size!
And Herself's jewellery is long gone. She still searches for it occasionally. Heh!
Are you man or mouse? Squeak up. If trains are in your blood, get on with it. Cost is not the issue, only commitment. I can lend you around 100 hand-built locomotives to make a start.
Bloody hell! 100 hand-built locomotives? I'm tempted to take you up on that just to see how you manage with the postage!
The plastic cows on the plastic grass yield plastic milk, and their droppings reek of plastic, yes?
And lowing plastic moos. They seemed to be fairly sedentary all right.
Can we suitably amend the opening lines of Gray's Elegy, which resonate thus? –
The curfew tolls the knell of parting day,
The lowing herd wind slowly o'er the lea,
The ploughman homeward plods his weary way,
And leaves the world to darkness and to me.
Something like this:-
The clacking electric train rattles my day,
Plastic cow patties plop on plastic hay,
Weary ploughmen for plastic pints do pay,
While alcohol tax and the ban on smoking cause widespread dismay.
Heh! Nice one. You have hidden talents there.
I can only get verse and verse.