Winning the Eurovision
I watched the Eurovision thing last night.
I was knackered, bollixed and shattered after a hectic day and it was as good a way as any of forgetting the world and having a sneer at the same time.
In a way, Iâm glad I watched because Ireland won!
Of course there are those of you who will claim that Denmark won, but that just goes to show you havenât a clue how the Eurovision works.
The rules state that each year the host country has to outdo the previous year in sheer kitsch, extravagance and expense. It costs a fucking tanker load of cash to host the event and so we come to the second rule â do not, under any circumstances win the fucking thing as it will bankrupt your national television station.
Ireland used to be absolutely crap at the Eurovision as we came first on about six or seven occasions. Oh how the other countries laughed year after year as we were lumbered with the white elephant yet again!
We have improved now and have achieved the perfect placing. We manage to escape the ignominy of being disqualified in the semi finals and then achieve the ultimate spot that is the envy of every country in Europe â 26th out of 26.
The scoring was of course the usual fun-fest. Itâs like watching a game of Pass the Parcel, where the parcel contains a live hand grenade. I donât know what Denmark did to piss off Europe, but they ended up with the grenade and Ireland came out laughing. There are going to be some very annoyed phone calls today from one country to another â âWhey the fuck did you give us so many points, you bastards? What the fuck did we do to you? Just wait âtil next fucking year!â
As for the music? There wasnât any. Apart from one piece which caught my ear, but that wasnât an entry so it doesnât qualify.
Musically, I have heard worse.
Like a story a guy relayed to me last evening. When he was a kid he used to be told do the Stations of the Cross in Church. Ses he "I'd always start at the end and work towards the beginning, the story got better as you went along that way!"
Quite often things are better in reverse. Imagine living life in reverse? Starting off old and achy and gradually becoming more athletic as time goes on? Schooldays would be a doddle because by then you would have all of life's experiences and knowledge. I won't go into the details of your very last day though…..!
Congratulations GD, An very creditable performance. Bonnie Tyler nearly let us down coming 19th. She should have gargled with battery acid at least twice before coming on stage that way we would probably have beat you.
If I remember correctly, we may have giving you a point or two to knock you out of the winning spot? Heh! When are you lot going to stop digging up ancient singers from decades ago?
You must admit it has proven a winning formula of late 😉
Wait 'til we start digging up a few century old characters!
Bit of a bummer for/from Strabane. Actually I was surprised it finished last. I liked the "song."
I think the reason the Irish entry won so conclusively is due to the proximity of Ireland to Great Britain. It is almost certain that the judges looked up Ireland on the map, saw that it was close to Britain and voted accordingly.
Fuck! They had to use a MAP? Jayzus!
The old hearing giving you trouble again? Sorry to hear that.
Well, Strabane IS Ulster.
It all depends. If the resident is classed a winner they are deemed to be Irish. Losers belong to the UK.
There is nothing discriminatory there as the Brits play the same game [but opposite, of course]