Life in the fast lane
They are at it again.
The fuckers started at the ungodly hour of eleven o’clock and the fucking racket woke me up. Not a good way to start the week.
Yes, the council are “repairing” the potholes in the lane again.
They have a new toy this time. It’s a dirty great big yellow lorry with a hopper on the back and a very strange contraption on the front. The latter is a long remotely controlled hydraulic arm that swings, expands and contracts and it seems to alternately spew out some kind of gunk and then stones. The driver manoeuvres this over a pothole and it spews its whatever into the hole and then moves on.
Two hours later, they have managed to travel about fifty feet, if that. Progress at a snails-pace, which should really be our council’s motto.
What the twats don’t seem to realise is that they will never repair the lane. It is impossible, and you would think they would have learned that by now.
You see the lane was originally what’s known as a cattle right of way. It was a essentially a mud track with grass growing down the middle. Then some bright spark had the ever so clever idea of putting a layer of tarmac on top and calling it a road. Since then it has taken some pretty heavy abuse from a lot of traffic and some very heavy lorries. And naturally it broke up. And each time it breaks up they throw some shit into the holes and hope for the best. And it just breaks up again.
There is only one way that lane will ever be fixed and that is to rip the whole shagging lot up and put down some decent foundations, because that is what it lacks – a good solid foundation.
I have just had a look at the lane post-operation.
I think the picture speaks for itself.
About as much use as a fart in a gale.
The only decent bit is where they laid that pipe a while ago [the squished dog shit marks the spot].
And this is what their repairs sounded like –
I’ll give it less than a week before we’re back to the old potholes again.
Continuing t'theme. Opposite my house are an almost matching pair of potholes created by the prolonged cold spell in 2010/11. During 2012 the County Council contractor Amey sent two men with buckets of tar to fill them in. They did just that and tamped the tar down with a big stick to make sure it stuck.
Well here we are in April 2013 and the holes have returned. Every bit of 'repair tar' which arrived in plastic buckets so wasn't hot, has gone and the scalpings that form the roads impressive foundations (revealed when some insanely efficient and effective Irish contractors arrived and laid a fibre optic conduit in 2011) that have been revealed are being bounced out of the holes which are deeper than they were when the Amey men turned up.
You mean their repairs lasted a year? That would be beyond a record here – it would be a bloody miracle. We are well used to "the two lads with a bucket of tar" here, as that is the usual repair method. Sometimes they even bring a roller. Within days the potholes are back, even deeper than before. We have a self imposed speed limit of 1 mph on the lane, or else the old suspension is fucked.
As you correctly point out it is the lack of foundations on your lane that has never needed them until the road was adopted. The road here is properly built on sound foundations and still these potholes grow. We pay road tax and council tax so there really is no excuse for potholes but the wankers who steal these taxes just piss them up the wall.
Count yourself lucky they are even attempting a repair. In Cork the county council have tarmac supplies under two sets of locks and keys with two different keyholders for security! Conversely they seem to have an abundance of road marking paint at the minute, some urban roads here look like a three year old was let loose with white and yellow crayons.
I suppose I have to be grateful that they don't try painting the lane? They went mad in the village a couple of tears ago, so there was more paint than road. It has all worn off now though and looks much better.
loose
Sounds typical Wicklow County Council.
You couldn't mistake them!! They must have spent thousands over the years and there has never been any improvement. All they did today was scatter half a ton of chippings around the place, which will doubtless end up in my front driveway.
Any openings for you old guys in the Muppets gallery ?
Wha? You mean you haven't kept a seat for us?
Washing machine's broke down. 23 years old. Upstairs in house. Full of dirty water. I don't know, syphon??
That's no way to refer to the missus.
And I suppose there's at least a dozen workers standing around watching the one guy spread the gravel. At least that would be the case here. The Union would require 4 "laborers" with shovels, 2 laborers with brooms to sweep up the wayward crumbles, 1 labor Union representative to ensure that the laborers hold the shovels and brooms correctly, 2 Teamsters (truck drivers) whether you need them or not, since if there's a laborer on the job the Teamsters have in their contract that they shall have equal representation. Then there's the Operating Engineers….these are the big shits who actually operate the equipment. There has to be 2 of them so that when the one has break time, the other can take over. Oops….almost forgot, of this consortium one fourth must be of the minority population….you know, women and/or ethnic minority. And work commences at 0600 and ceases promptly at 1400….absolutely no overtime this early in the year!
Nah! It was just the one bloke lording it in his hi-tech lorry. In fact we could have done with a few sweepers as he made one hell of a mess. There are chippings everywhere.
I drove on it today – no potholes [yet] and a surface that's about as smooth as the surface of the moon.
@Susan – I hear the union is suing the Japanese this year. It seems they've invented shovels and brooms that stand up all by themselves.
Grandad – Here in Vermont over half the roads are dirt. Not only that but every one is marked as "hysterical"…er…"historical" so they stay that way. The reason being that what with our numerous hills, mountains, valleys, rivers, streams and ever-changing weather (which includes a solid 6 months of winter), dirt roads are easier to maintain than the paved ones are. Sure, we have our "main drags", highways and such that have to be paved but it's often a relief to get off the pavement and onto a dirt road. The ride is much smoother.
That's what they ought to do to your lane then? Rip up the tarmac, put down a decent road bed, top it off with some decent gravel, grade it and you're done. A lovely dirt road to drive on. If it gets a bit rough after a time run the grader through, no problem. Get a bad spell of weather that really tears things up road-wise? Spread a few loads of gravel down and run the grader through again. Takes less than a day. We do it here all the time, takes only a couple individuals to run the dump truck and the grader (both men and women take their turns on the equipment here) and the roads are fine to drive on. A bit dusty perhaps but they're quite lovely.