That Monday feeling
Do you ever have One of Those Days?
Last week I did a little drop of shopping on the Interweb.
I bought a coat thing for Herself to stave off the frostbite and I bought a keyboard for myself, but obviously not from the same company.
I received to emails at the time telling me my orders had been received and shortly after, emails that both items had been shipped.
I didn’t hear anything more over the next couple of days about the coat, but that didn’t bother me. However the crowd that sold the keyboard gave me a web site so I could track my order. Apparently my keyboard started its journey in Holland and it shifted to the UK by Thursday and Dublin by Friday with a cheery note that it would be delivered before close of business today.
Last night I had a rough night. Didn’t get to sleep ‘til all hours. Naturally just as I was finally and firmly deposited in the Land of Nod, the fucking telephone rang. My keyboard was about to arrive.
I got dressed and sure enough, half an hour later a very cheerful bloke handed over my parcel. That is when One of Those Days really started.
I unpacked the keyboard and it is a fucking US version. What the fuck use is that? All the symbols are in the wrong place and some are missing altogether. Where is my Sterling pound? I may not use it very often but it ain’t there any more. My “ and my @ are swapped, and I do use them a lot so that is really fucking irritating. I ordered off a company with an Irish web address and my delivery address stated quite clearly that I was in Ireland so why the fuck send me a US yoke? Fucking twats.
While I was faffing about changing the settings in my Linux to deal with this foreign state of affairs, an email arrived. It was the clothing company thanking me very much for returning the coat. What the blue fuck? I never received the damn thing so how the fuck could I return it?
Then the central heating oil ran out.
So now the day has only started and I’m up to my neck writing emails demanding to know where a decent keyboard is, why the fuck the coat somehow bounced back into the shop and could someone please send me a tank of oil that costs more than liquid gold.
As I said – One of Those Days.
Looks like Herself will have to freeze a bit longer…..
"Looks like Herself will have to freeze a bit longer….."
Indeed, keyboards to not keep a person warm.
US keyboards can be very annoying but not nearly as bad as them Frog ones that are ZWERTY instead of QWERTY.
Try finding the @ on French keyboards!!!
Of sweet fuck! Made the mistake a while back of dropping into a French Interweb Café. About half a bloody hour trying to write one simple email.
There is nothing wrong with a US keyboard. I've used one for years now. All the correct bits are right where they should be.
It's no fucking wonder you lot can't spell or punctuate properly.
I keep a little Word document on my desktop for things not easily found on my keyboard as follows;
Aren't they for web pages though? There are all sorts of wee shortcuts you can use on a real keyboard [such as Alt Gr + a giving á] and none of those works on a flimsy US setup.
I have a dinky keyboard with everything where it should be, in English and "properly" organised with a QWERTY layout. It was made in China, and probably cost about £1.00. It is over five years old and still works.
My problem is simple. I have a laptop which is a grand jobby – plenty fast – plenty memory – plenty everything – BUT it has a nasty keyboard. The keys are all flat with nothing between them and it's like trying to type on a cheese-board. Add to that the fact that all the lettering is coming off the keys…..
I thought I would buy a USB keyboard, which I did for about a tenner. Works perfectly but it's cheap, flimsy and noisy. Thought I would treat myself to a slightly more robust model, and that is where I am now stuck.
here is what you need, a blank keyboard.
Bloody hell!! They remove the letters and charge a fortune? Should be cheaper with no letters?
Apologies GD but I pissed myself laughing reading this article. It really made my Monday!
You have no idea how much better that makes me feel.
[*wanders off muttering about sadistic fuckers on the Interweb*]
It could have been worse, might have been a new keyboard for me!
Do you want one? I have a spare one going…… 😐
I was going to offer you my old Greek keyboard, it's almost OK except the @ and the " are reversed……only they're not when you type. That took me by surprise a few times, obviously the computer itself knows where the symbols should be!
Oh dear GD. Believe it or not, the warehouse I run has over 400 keyboards, brand new, that I can't give away FFS. Mind you, apparently they are PS2 or whatever, and deemed useless? Hey ho……..
A feast or a famine?!! I think I have a couple of those old ones around myself. Maybe I can adapt one? I didn't think of that before….
Now this was a keyboard input device,
I'll skip that version, thanks. Maybe I'll pirate some voice recognition software from somewhere…?
I have spent many an hour sitting at one of those. Thanks for the reminder
A good night's rest to you tonight GD!
You know what's doing the trick for me lately? Puts me out like a light. An electric blanket. That or listen to a boring cunt for a while.. there's so many of them around.
In terms of the other shit. First world problems. no sympathy there, sorry. 🙂
Oil is expensive alright though. Speaking of boring cunts, I was watching your man Duncan Stewart on what's his show called? The Duncan Stewart show? 'About the house' I think?. Anyways he was on about a wood burning stove there on it during the week.. you might catch it on the player.. saves a fortune apparently. Would heat up the house for the year for 800 euro he said. They're placed in the fireplace and I think a boiler goes in at the back of them.. and you'd have no need to put on any other heating according to Duncan. I'm not sure though, wasn't really listening.. 🙂
Worth checking out maybe?
One of my ambitions in life is to drop a 9" eco-unfriendly concrete block on Duncan Stewart from a great height. The very sight of him makes me want to set fire to kittens.