Appeasing the markets
Most days when I connect up to the Interweb I have a look at the latest news headlines.
Most days it’s the same old shite – the Markets are nervous; the Markets are reacting badly.
Now I don’t give a flying fuck about the Markets but apparently our gubmints do. They seem to spend their time trying to appease these fucking Markets as if their shite is chocolate. And what really pisses me off is that that appeasement usually seems to involve my paying out more taxes or some other rip off.
Who the fuck are these people? Presumably they have set up their stalls in some car park or other and are trying to sell their home made jewellery or home baked cake or something? Why are they always nervous? Why can’t they go and see a fucking shrink? Why can’t they take a fistful of Valium? Why can’t they take a fucking Valium overdose come to that?
So here is my message to the Markets.
Go fucking sort yourselves out.
I’m sick and tired of hearing about your nervous twitches. I don’t give a shite if you come from a deprived [or even a depraved] background, or if your parents treated you badly. If you have a neurological problem then go and fucking sort it out and stop blaming the rest of the world. It’s your problem. You deal with it.
I’m warning you.
You may think you are the only fucking market in town.
But there is always eBay.
The trouble is that our Government plays along with the ECB line that the package is working whereby ordinary punters bail out rich bankers.
The guys who buy and sell government bonds on the international markets look at what is going on and say to themselves, ‘would I put money into a country where much of its income goes into a black hole of debt?’
‘Nope’.
So they sell off Irish government bonds meaning the price of the bonds fall and the yields rise – the dividends received by bondholders are proportionately larger when compared with the price of the bond.
For the first time today, the yield on Irish government bonds rose above 14.5% – double what it was when Enda Kenny was elected. The markets do not believe that paying for bank debts is the way to recovery. Kenny and Gilmore must be the only people who believe the line they keep spinning.
There is only one market to watch, when we are back within a per cent or two of Germany, you’ll know the markets believe the Taioseach:
http://markets.ft.com/RESEARCH/Markets/Government-Bond-Spreads
Aah it’s good to have an insider friend in the markets. I have one. At the weekend he took me round his local market and told everyone I was with him. It was great. I got discounts on everything and free parking and grapes.
Fair enough, the grapes weren’t grade A, but all the same…
If you find yourself at Basildon market, ask for Stan selling the fruit and veg. he’ll see you right.
Ian – Basically we are being told by the EU what to do. They represent the banks and bondholders who would be out of pocket if we did our own thing. This course of action is going to almost inevitably lead to a default and the markets know this. In other words, we are in deep do-do unless we tell the EU to piss off.
BWT – Much as I would love to, I can’t do that. Isn’t insider trading on the markets illegal?
New study on the news today. Kids are safer being driven by their grandparents. Did they ask you GD ?
All those working the markets should be insiders – LIFE insiders.
Wait until your roads (built with EU money – Ha fucking Ha) are sold off to China and they turn them into toll roads.
The Indian national flag will fly proudly over once great Irish institutional buildings.
The Spanish bank STANDANDDELIVER will buy up all your building societies and high street banks for a fucking snip, they’ll charge you 19% to borrow money and pay you next-to-fuck-all in interst on your meagre savings.
Fuck ’em – and all Fuckwits that like them.
Come out yer bstats.
David McWilliams has been saying that all along, Grandad. The EU deal is about protecting themselves, it’s not in our interest. The government bond markets are expecting a default.
We might be better off if we had a few Del Boys selling stocks and shares from tables in market stalls! At least you would know that the money was there (or not) to back up the sale. I’ve been wondering about this for a while and has anybody given thought to doing a global income and expenditure account? Surely we could tot up all the national debts and then on the other side we could tot up the net worth of all nation’s currency, bullion etc. The two figures should be the same, but………. would they? I think not, I think they were spending money on screens that did not exist at all in real life. Hence the merde we find ourselves in!!
If the markets are nervous it means the market players are nervous. Now market players who buy short and sell long or buy shares at 9.30 in the morning and quickly sell off an hour later to make a killing (hope they’re not shares in pet dogs) are GAMBLERS. They play numbers games based on time zone differences (Nick Neeson and his Barings Bank employers) and juggle with assorted shares based on expectations of highs and lows.
So when ‘the markets’ better known as gamblers start twitching their noses it’s really about gamblers’ nerves. They don’t need to see witch doctors or gypsy fortune tellers: they need to join gamblers anonymous and related self help organizations.
The rest of us can do gym workouts or smoke pipes to steady our nerves.
TT – They never consult me on any frivolous subjects. Or important ones for that matter.
Patrick – Seeing as most of our debts are to German gamblers, I think we shall shortly be learning the words to Deutschland Uber Alles.
Ian – Not only McWilliams but other eminent people in the know. Yer Man Constantin Goodenough or whatever his name is has also forecast all of this very accurately.
Not Green – It had occurred to me that one way out of the mess is for us all to work out what country owes whom and how much. Chances are all the debts would just nicely cancel out. It would save a lot of hassle…
Ger – Gym workouts? What the fuck? Things aren’t THAT bad are they?
NB: “…or smoke pipes” in my comments, Grandad. I was liberal and practical in offering you a choice of creative nerve-tempering activity. I can’t imagine you lepping over a vaulting horse in a gym, or swinging from the chandeliers at a New Year party in the state rooms at Dublin Castle.
Confucius he say moderation in all things, including steadying of frayed nerves.
A relatively wiser commentator, one Albert Einstein, said this about the pipe: “I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgement in all human affairs.” (1950)
PS: Albert Einstein also played the violin in his spare time to calm the nerves and possibly find inspirational relativity. Ever think of going on the fiddle Grandad?
Ger – A simple question.. why do people never walk to their gym? Do they not see the irony in driving there? As for the pipe – I have always maintained that it is a very relaxing pastime. Dunno about the violin though……