I have a very simple request to make.
It’s not too demanding and won’t cost a red cent.
All I ask is that you STOP USING THAT FUCKING ABBREVIATION “APP”.
I don’t know what it is about app that gets my dander up but I cringe every time I hear it. And I fucking hear it too much. I started to watch a video about the release of Windows 8 purely because I had nothing better to do. Every fucking second word was ‘app’. I had to switch off. I couldn’t listen to any more ‘apps’. I received a magazine to which I have a subscription, but plastered across the front page was “APPS – Everything you need to know”. The magazine went straight in the bin.
I think the main reason I hate the expression so much is that it is so fucking typical of modern yoof. It summarises the obsession with fucking mobile phones. It encapsulates the utter laziness where any word over five letters long has to be abbreviated. It typifies the inability to spell anything longer than three letters. In other words, I would describe it as a Neanderthal word for a fucking Neanderthal world
Let’s get one thing straight. The word is ‘application’. OK? Got that? That’s not too hard now, is it? You didn’t feel any pain reading that word? Do you think you could possibly remember just eight more letters? No. Probably not.
I am hereby warning you. Anyone who uses ‘app’ within my hearing is liable to get his [or her; I believe in equality] face smashed in.
You have been warned.