It’s that time of the decade again.

Time to renew my driving licence.

Normally I don’t bother with such trivia as licences, but in my young and naive days, I applied for one and they made a mistake – they granted me all classes even though I never did a test for driving a Public Service Vehicle, or and Articulated Lorry [and trailer] weighing over 100 tonnes [or a tank for that matter].  Ever since then I have religiously renewed, and ticked all the boxes, and ever since, they have been granting me full rights.

I browsed through the application form and I found a sneaky little trick on their part.  Apparently I can buy a one year licence, which is fine.  Or I can buy a three year licence, which is grand.  Or I can buy a ten year licence which is excellent.  However, there is a fourth category – a licence up to the age 70, which I have to apply for apparently.  Fuck that but I’m getting old!

I filled out the form and told them I was applying for the last category, and then went to see how much it will cost me.  Apparently, it costs €25.  Now, a ten year licence costs €25, but I won’t be getting a full ten years out of it.  I am only getting nine and a half years but the fucking bastards are still charging me for the full ten.  The miserable, cheating, money grabbing cocksuckers! 

I wrote out a cheque for €23.75 which I reckon is a lot fairer.  Actually I am letting them off lightly, as a one year licence costs €5, so I should be deducting €2.50.

So this is my last ten year licence, huh?

In ten years time, I will be considered decrepit and senile, and can’t apply for anything more than a three year one, and even then I have to grovel to Doc for a letter of fitness.  The bastard will love that!  He will probably insist on a rectal examination before providing the letter, if I know him.

On the up side, as far as I can make out I get a free licence from seventy onwards.

It will be small compensation for the pain in the arse I will have to suffer to get it.