Faces I could never tire of kicking – 6
Today’s choice may come as a surprise to some people, but it comes as no surprise to me.
There is something about this one’s face that really gets on my wick. I don’t know quite what it is, but I squirm every time I see her, avoid films she is in and turn over magazines if she’s on the cover.
I think my love hate relationship started with “Friends”. To me, that programme was the epitome of everything that is unfunny about American comedy. It was overacted, badly staged and basically, not funny. What made it worse was that everyone raved about it.
In my previous incarnation as a worker, I used to share an office with a Friends fan. Every coffee break was the same – she would start on about the antics of the Friends lot and would bore the arse off the rest of us, who hated the programme. We would all moan silently, but none of us had the heart to tell our colleague to shut the fuck up. We were too nice. That’s office life for you.
Since “Friends”, Aniston seems to crop up everywhere. I have had the misfortune to see a couple of films featuring her. Someone should tell the poor bint that she can’t act for nuts. She always seems to play the same character, no matter what film she’s in, so if I see her name in the listings, I just don’t watch any more.
Then there are the “celebrity” magazines. They seem to be obsessed with her. Of course, I don’t buy them but that doesn’t stop all those fucking advertisements. I mean to say, who gives a flying fuck about Jennifer Aniston’s love life? On the grand scheme of things, it is less than trivial. Who gives a fiddler’s fart if she is pregnant or about to date some new sap? I have more important things to worry about, such as that pimple on the back of my neck.
A lot of men consider her to be attractive. I don’t. Those blank soulless eyes freak me. The light is on, but there is nobody in. She never seems to change her expression either. I have a private theory that she is, in fact from the planet Zorg, and is eyeing the human race up for potential meat farming.
It is definitely time to dust off the boots.
Hi,I haven’t weighed in for a while.Speaking of faces, I just noticed you changed yours.Old man w/a club,it pretty well befits you and your usual demeanor,but personnally I prefer the other(you were cute).As far as Ms Aniston goes,she’s ok.Films have been fluff pieces, but usually decently entertaining.I never watched Friends or had anyone going on about it, so I didn’t get sick of her as you did.First time I really even noticed her was when she appeared on Oprah and they discussed her breakup w/ Brad Pitt to Anjelie Jolie (how bout that face?)Anyway,she’s ok,ignore her but don’t kick her.You must save your energy for something more deserving.(what’s your thinking on the election in England?)
Once again I find myself in complete agreement. That’s twice this year.
Sandra – Who gives a fart about a total nonentity breaking up with Brad Pitt [another nonentity]? She’s a waste of space and oxygen. Sorry – she has to get the treatment.
As for the UK elections? They haven’t a clue how to run elections over there, but there again, maybe the PR system is just too complicated for them? Heh!
TT – My application is already in to The Guinness Book of Records.
Yeah … Jennifer Aniston. Just another bunny with a brand to nurture … she’s not actually a person. Just a brand.
This blarp has been brought to you courtesy of Coca-Cola.
What’s ‘Friends’?
Okay, I guess I’ll have to move to Ireland! I agree totally with everything you said about Ms. Aniston, who always seems “smirky” to me. I’m so sick of seeing her face everywhere and her “poor little me” attitude. And yet, whenever I express these feelings to my friends here in the States, you’d think I had kicked a kitten or something. Got room in your shed?
Con – [Did ya think I wouldn’t recognise ya?] Wasn’t she the the one who used to mutter that idiotic line “Because you’re worth it” in an advertisement? Our K8 used to reply “Yeah. Four fucking euro. That’s about your worth”. I brought my daughter up to very high exacting standards.
Ian – You really, honestly don’t want to know.
Star – I will be honest and say that I expected a lot more flack for today’s choice. I thought it was just one of my personal quirks that I can’t stand the sight of her, but it seems I’m not alone after all. I’ll have a word with Herself, to see if she wants any company in the shed.
I have seen a couple of interviews with her. My little toe has a better personality.
Is it true that your little toe has been booked as a guest on the Late Late Show?
I once searched the trunk of her Jag.
Just after 9/11, a security team I was on got sent out to augment gate security at WB Studios in Burbank, where they taped “Friends.” We searched every trunk because you never know when Jennifer Aniston might decide to quit her 2.5 million dollar per episode gig and go to work for Bin Laden.
I could tell you what was in her trunk but then I’d have to kill you.
Oh dear Grandad – have you tried TCP on it – that pimple is obviously making you irritable… what’s a bint?
RhodesTer – If her trunk was anything like her head, I wouldn’t say you would have much to report?
Kate – Irritable? Moi? Never! Bint = Daft female. Airhead.
I couldn’t agree with you more. She’s a bint!
Grandad – HAR! Actually I don’t remember. Probably a duffle bag, spare tire tools and some trash, like every other trunk we opened.
Despite what you say about her, she was always nice, whereas a lot of the actors going into the lot were surly and complained about the security measures. She always had a smile and would say, “How are you guys this morning?”
We’d say we were fine and then we’d ask her to pop the trunk so we could have a look and she’s say, “Oh, sure!”
Of course you’ll say, “Well, one can be air-headed and still nice” and you’d be absolutely right. So I’m not commenting on the air-headedness, just the niceness, because it’s refreshing to see in that industry. It’s rare.
She was always nice.
So stop picking on her.
Phhht.
Brianf – RhodesTer says you’re to stop picking on her.
RhodesTer – I never said she wasn’t nice. I just said she was a pain in the hole. The world is full of very nice people [I include myself, of course] but they all have the sense not to go around pretending to be actors.
Excellent rant, but I love Jennifer Anniston. I think Friends was fantastic. Sometimes the laugh track was set on high and I occasionally found that annoying, but I really liked that show.
Anyways I think you’re rant was fascinating and confirms my belief in a double reality universe. I can’t really disagree with any of your points, yet I think there might be more there than you are seeing.
Welcome Alessandro. That is quite some feat! Somehow you mange to agree and disagree with me at the same time. Congratulations. As for there being more there than I’m seeing? I don’t think there is any more to see. That’s the problem!
That is why I believe in double realities.
By the way, you spelled my name right. So few do.