I just switched on my laptop to see what day it is.
That presumably means that yesterday was Christmas? That would explain a lot.
There is a half full two-litre bottle of whiskey in the kitchen. I could have sworn that was full a couple of days ago?
A few things seemed to have happened in the last couple of days? The Pope being raped? A cathedral burned down? All in all, a fairly normal Christmas?
I have vague memories of a lock-in last night in the pub down in the village, but that just may be my memory playing tricks. It would however explain the two strangers who are still snoring in the dog’s bed. It doesn’t explain though why there is a JCB parked in the middle of the lawn. Nor does it explain the pair of lacy knickers in my pocket.
If there is anyone out there who was with me over the last couple of days, could you please get in touch?
I want to know if I enjoyed myself.
People wonder why I hate Christmas.
I just hate the blanks.