I read an article yesterday about a patient in Limerick Regional Hospital.
Apparently this patient was being wheeled down to the operating theatre, and the nurses and anaesthetist were discussing the impending operation. The patient had to butt into their conversation to point out that their information was wrong, and that the problem was on the patient’s right side and not the left. If the patient hadn’t butted in, the operation would have been carried out on the wrong side.
You may think this is unusual, but it ain’t.
A while ago, Herself had to have “a procedure” in hospital. I was there when they came to wheel her down. A nurse and a doctor came breezing into the room and announced cheerfully “so you are the gall-bladder patient”. She said she wasn’t and it transpired that her notes had become confused with someone else’s. If they had wheeled her off without saying anything, presumably she would now be somewhat lacking in the gall-bladder department.
Some years ago, I had a fall. Well, that’s what I tell people. Actually, it was a lucky swipe of the frying pan, but I’m not holding that against Herself. All’s fair in love and war, as they say. It happened on Christmas Day, and I therefore waited until the following day to trolley myself down to the local A&E.
They prodded me and poked me and eventually took an x-ray. It was fucking painful, I can tell you. They examined the x-rays very carefully and said I was just bruised and sent me home.
I couldn’t sleep for a couple of nights with the pain, and my waking hours were no better. It was fucking agony.
I know a bruise when I have one, and I knew this was no fucking bruise, so after a few days, I went to my local doctor. He asked for the x-rays, so I collected them and showed him.
He took one very brief look at the x-rays and announced that I had three broken ribs.
So the moral of the story is this.
If you feel you have a need for a hospital visit, DON’T GO.
Stay at home and do the operation yourself.
It’s not that hard. Most homes have more that the required equipment. All you need is a kitchen table, a few sharp knives and maybe a pruning saw or electric drill. If you don’t feel up to doing the operation yourself, ask a friend or a neighbour to do it.
Believe you me, it will be a lot safer and healthier.