I had to go into town today.
I was wandering around getting damp, as one does, when I saw I was about to pass a newsagent.
I have been in the shop before. It’s a nice colourful place lined with magazines and sweets and things.
This time though there was a great big fuck-off sheet of plywood behind the counter that looked awful.
‘Aha!’ says I to myself. ‘They have broken a window.’
But I immediately realised that there was no window there. What had been there was the cigarette display. And then I remembered.
The fucking Nanny State is at it again.
As and from today it is illegal to display cigarettes in shops. Yes – it is against the law for anyone to see them!
A lot of people read this site. Most come looking for a bit of pornography, or to find ways to remove a wasps nest, but that is beside the point. The point is that with the number of visitors I get, I must have a fairly broad range of philosophies and ideologies.
At least one of you has to be a Neo-Nazi rabid anti-smoking fascist bastard, and I am appealing to you.
Yes, you [you miserable scum from the bottom of the cess pool].
Could you please tell me what the point of this latest law is? I beg of you. I really want to know.
Am I supposed to walk into a tobacconists and see an ugly sheet of plywood and say to myself ‘Oh shit! They don’t sell tobacco any more!’ and walk out avowing never to smoke again?
Do you seriously think that children walk into shops and are so overawed by the display of cigarettes that they have to buy them?
Please tell me, Arsehole. I really want to know.
And while you are at it, can you tell me why they aren’t bricking up the pubs so that children aren’t tempted by them?
Why aren’t cars sold with their doors welded shut so that boy racers can’t kill us?
What really riles me is the utter pettiness of this latest move. It is a snide little dig that is going to do absolutely fuck all good except annoy people, and cost hard strapped shopkeepers more money that they can ill afford.
God give me strength!