Alarming dogs
Itâs not often that I get a lie in.
I was having a nice one this morning. The few pints last night had gone down well, and I was in a nice deep sleep. Things between myself and Sharon were just getting interesting.
There was a loud crash as Sandy flung open the door and came over and slobbered all over my nose.
One of Sandyâs little tricks she learned many years ago is the ability to open doors. If the door has a handle, she can open it. She never learned to close the fucking things behind her though. We have to lock all the doors at night, or weâll wake to find badgers rooting around the kitchen or a deer in the living room. Sandy likes to invite in her friends.
Normally though, she respects the bedroom and we donât lock that door.
Sandy obviously decided this morning that ten was a bit late for me to be in bed, so she came in and rectified the situation. I nearly rectified her.
That dog will have to go.
Iâll never discover now what Sharon was going to do with that cucumber.
Good girl, Sandy, good GIIIRL!!
GD, tell her the gift certificate to PetCo is in the mail. You do have one nearby, I hope?
Oh, oh, if you’re serious about letting her go, can I have her?? Sandy, I mean; not Sharon.
I hate cucumber. It’s pure evil, only in vegetable form.
RhodesTer – Never heard of PetCo. Stop encouraging her!
Susan – Sorry. You can’t have either of them. Do you really want a dog that eats tourists?
NaRocRoc – Who said anything about eating it?
Only a couple better ways to wake up in the morn, besides your best pal jumping in bed with muddy paws and licking your face with the same tongue that just licked her ass tromping all over your full kidneys and, and communicating: “let’s go! It’s a whole new day and you and everything around you is wonderful.”
You love it you old buzzard.
PS: Sandy would like to meet nooterthedog.com
Hopefully there wasn’t a slicer and dicer in the bedroom as well!
Sixty – I may love it, but not when I’m away with Sharon and just about to do interesting things with a cucumber [or was it a melon?]. Sandy has contemplated doing a blog, but has decided it’s too naff.
John O – A slicer and dicer? What kind of bedroom do you have? 😮
Cucumbers……which end does the battery go in ?
Bert does that. Fucking annoying. I mean, I’m not generally averse to being gently awoken with a tongue in my ear, but Christ his breath if fierce. We’re fostering a little girl greyhound at the moment who does this really strange moaning noise as she tries to get comfy.
Much like Sharon, I’d imagine.
TT – I was awoken before I could find out.
E Mum – Sandy’s breath can strip paint too, which can be handy when redecorating. How did you know about Sharon’s moaning? [though it isn’t when she’s trying to get comfy…..]
Oh lord. Too much information!! I might have to call my foster greyhound Sharon now!
I have the video of Sharon and the cucumber.
It’ll cost you.
Maxi – Keep it. I have the original 😈
Well done Sandy – Grandad you should know by now – dreams like that will do you know good – its much more fun to get up and take your loving canine companion out for a mid morning stroll… keeping well away from the greenhouse of course!!