A month ago, I wrote about the wild guinea pig in the garden.
Life has moved on a bit since then.
He was captured, and became a she. This was not one of your operations that we don’t discuss publicly; it was more a case of discovery.
The problem then arose as to what we were to call this little turd on legs. The honour fell on Sixty who suggested ‘Minnie Pig’. This was rather appropriate, as Puppychild calls them mini-pigs as a generic term.
The general idea was that Minnie was to go and live with our K8’s pair [of guinea pigs – no smart comments, please]. This however didn’t work out. The vet says that K8’s pair should eventually make a reasonable physical recovery, but he can’t answer for the aftermath of the trauma. So Minnie is now living with us.
Apparently guinea pigs are social animals and like company. We had notions of getting a companion, but I just couldn’t bother my arse driving around looking for a petshop. She’s only a fucking animal after all. So she now lives in splendid isolation in our kitchen, so that she is nice and handy should we run out of meat.
Things have developed since then, however.
We got into the habit of letting her out for a couple of hours for a bit of a run around. This would be fine, but Minnie seems to have taken a bit of an aversion to Herself. There is no violence involved, but frequently my evening nap is interrupted by a shriek of “Jesus! The little fucker has pissed on me again”. Minnie is quite subtle about displaying her feelings apparently.
What about Sandy, you ask.
Here is where the new development comes in.
There was a bit of curiosity when the two first met, and I had the tranquiliser gun at the ready. I didn’t need it however as Minnie came to a decision. Having already gone through a gender reassignment, she went through a species reassignment. She has now decided she is a Minnie Puppy. She has adopted Sandy as her mother. Fortunately, Sandy has adopted Minnie as her long lost daughter, so the two now spend the evenings in mutual admiration.
There is a ritual now. Sandy will curl up on the couch, and Minnie will run over. Sandy then proceeds to wash Minnie, until she is wringing wet and all her hair is standing on end and glistening with slobber. Minnie then runs over for a quick piss on Herself and then returns for another wash. A very cosy scene.
I’m very fond of Sandy, so all this has disrupted our gastronomic plans.
I could never eat Sandy’s daughter.
Not yet, anyway.
Are you sure Sandy’s washing, and not tasting?
We once had an neutered male cat that adopted a stray kitten who was young to be away from it’s mother. We had that cosy scene on the sofa beside us night after night for weeks before noticing that the kitten had found what it thought was a nipple and had been pleasuring the older cat all the time! They did however remain friends long after the kitten grew out of the suckling stage.
Susan – I think there is an element of both. Every now and then there is evidence of teeth, but Minnie always goes back for more. She may be a masochist on top of being transgender and transspiecies.
Dorothy – How do you know that the kitten thought it was a nipple. The kinky little sod might have known exactly what it was doing?
Ahhh that’s so sweet! Hippie would just pull Hendrix apart but then she is a greyhound and Hendrix – well he’s another incontinent guinea pig! Happy days!!!
Have you tried playing fetch with Minnie?
If you get her to do any tricks, I will be eternally impressed.
Kate – Incontinent is not the word. Pellets all over the place, but she still only pees on Herself?
Maxi – Useless. She uncurls in midair and that makes throwing or tennis very difficult. I’m trying to teach her to bark today.
Some advice off the internet for you…
Protecting your clothes
Its best to not hold a guinea pig for more than 10 minutes at a time, because they will naturally want to go to the bathroom. All my piggies tend to let me know if they want to be placed back in their cage to relieve themselves. They will become restless and start whining to let me know they need the toilet. However, my Jasmine doesn’t seem to mind releasing a little puddle of urine or pooping on me. Poops aren’t a worry, they are dry and come in a neat little package. The only time poops become a little problem is when my hubby steps on one 🙂 Urine however, can create a problem in the form of a warm wet patch on your clothes. A good idea is to protect yourself or children with a towel, by placing it under your guinea pig.
Aren’t I good to you?
Kate – “Aren’t I good to you?” Very good. Would you like to come over and sit under her? You are the expert, after all.
That would very touching if it wasn’t for the unfortunate bladder-emptying habit. Maybe you can make a replica of Herself and train Minnie to pee on that instead?
Nick – Why go to all that bother? One Herself is enough, and I don’t mind if Minnie pees on her.
Not me… just trying to help… Guinea pig and greyhound are not mine – they are my daughter’s! I have had to learn the hard way with both!
But its okay I know you’re out of sorts at the moment what with the dark nights and all – so I will forgive your blatant sarcasm – just this once!
Kate – Bloody Hell!!! I extend a cordial invite to visit Head Rambles Manor [an honour extended to few, I might add] and you call it sarcasm? I am shocked! 😮
You know. I did leave a a nice simple recipe for you. I think Sandy is just tasting to be honest.
Minnie Pig and I have a lot in common, we pee ourselves regularly.
I love that Sandy has adopted Minnie and that Sandy likes the taste of Guinea piss. Do you add anything to Minnie’s diet to make her more tasty to Sandy?
I’m thinking I would add it to my diet.
Hey, Cranky! How’s the coup going? I don’t think Sandy is too interested in eating Minnie. She prefers the poo.
Sixty – Askimet thinks you are Spam [why am I not surprised]. I just feed Minnie with vegetables. I like to see Sandy get a good balanced diet, and she normally doesn’t eat her greens.
That’s so sweet. I needed some cheering up after B’s sad news : http://positiveboredom.blogspot.com/2008/10/bank-holiday.html
Grandad, it’s so cute the way Minnie and Sandy have bonded! When I introduced a rabbit to my family, my dog immediately fell in love. Unfortunately the rabbit was more akin to the Monty Python Rabbit with Huge Pointy Teeth and let the dog know right away that he was the boss from there on out. It’s kind of sad when your 75lb dog is being bossed around by a 3lb rabbit.
Lottie – Yes. A sad story, aprticularly on the day I posted mine.
Kaz – It was a bit of a worry initially. Sandy can be quite nasty to people she doesn’t trust, but when it comes to animals, she’s as soft as fudge. Occasionally birds stun themselves on out windows, and Sandy will mind them on the terrace until they recover. She is strange!
Aww very cute doggy there. We had a news story this week where a little wiry jack russell stayed in a burning house to protect three newborn kittens. The firies had to recussicate him with oxygen and cpr. Nice when species get along . . we could learn something from that!
Me thinks I/you have found the perfect delivery method for semtex under a tourist bus. Strap a little of the stuff on Minnie and as all of the middle easterners ooh and ah over the cute little bugger you can push the button and know that you have cleared up another Irish problem. Sorry I am beginning to ramble, it must be that what little brain I have left has turned to steel-cut porridge from all of the damn political commercials that have been shoved down our collect throats lately!!!!!
Minnie and I had the same doctor.
Although she’ll taste a lot better deep fried than I will.