You won't catch me that easily
This is getting out of hand.
I only came over here for a bit of peace and quiet, and because The Big Man Above tipped me the wink that He was sending a flood of biblical proportions.
I don’t ask for much.
Now I have the fucking Brigade de Renseignement et de Guerre Electronique chasing me from town to town across the country.
I’m currently holed up in the north, but I’m not saying where. I have faked my address to look like I’m in Paris, but I’m not.
Even worse – they have brought over Ratzinger to hunt me out. [I got an e-mail yesterday – he wants an audience. Ha! I’m not falling for that one.]
Now the Irish government have persuaded the EU to close down the airlines in an attempt to stop me getting back.
I know when I’m not wanted.
I can take a hint.
It’s time to head for my mountain retreat.
Next thing you know, they’ll be planting devices in the Channel Tunnel.
Ah, poor Grandad. I’ve express-mailed you the keys to my chateau in Anjou, ancestral home you know, no bother. You can hole up there as long as you like; the Samoan bodyguards are much friendlier than they look and will keep you safe.
Mwah, mwah!
Thanks, Susan. D’you mean the Anjou region? I can be there in about two hours [can’t be too precise – would give my location away]. Or do you mean in the south? I’d like that…
I speak Samoan better than I speak French so that should be OK?
Not to worry, the directions are posted with the keys.
Oh, and by the way…not a word to the Husband about my ‘boys’, eh?
Not a dicky bird. I take it he doesn’t read this? Wise man.
They’re hunting you down because they’re sick of my temporary teeth-achingly pink blog. I have glitches… big ones! – have pity and come home…pweeeeeease???
Didn’t they already try to plant devices in the Tunnel? They got it closed temporarily…
The new Google satellite is currently scanning looking for the shadow cast by a certain pipe. Once located they will send cars with 360 degree cameras on top.
Come back GD – sometimes we just need to get home – and it doesn’t sound too restful!!!
We’ve missed having our daily laugh from the Irish end of things. I don’t think they much appreciate you over there. We’ll be happy to have you back and something good to read everyday! 🙂
You can’t come back I haven’t had enough parties in your free gaff yet!
E Mum – You are the one who is supposed to be finding a new design!!
TheChrisD – Ha! So I have just heard. Am I psychic or what!
Jim C – Maybe I should hide somewhere where there is no sun? Like Ireland?
Kate – Who needs restful? It’s fun!
Tricia – You could be right. Who says I am going to write every day though?
Maxi – Tough shit.