Sunday conversations
Me: Howya Snady.
Sandy: Humph!
Me: Why the long face?
Sandy: Don’t try to be fucking funny. You know I was born this way, you bearded freak.
Me: What the hell is wrong with you?
Sandy: I’m bursting for a piss.
Me: Well, go out and have one.
Sandy: Yeah? And how would you fancy going out in the rain and sticking your fanny into the cold wet grass?
Me: It would only be for a minute?
Sandy: Like last Friday, when you put me out in the pissing rain and forgot about me?
Me: I apologised for that. Anyway you got your own back by destroying the carpet after.
Sandy: Heh! I did.
Me: When were you last out for a piss, anyway?
Sandy: Last Friday!
Me: Jayzus. You must be bursting?
Sandy: I sneaked a quick one in the bath last night.
Me: Ya dirty thing! We have to wash in that.
Sandy: Tough. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
Me: Are you sure you don’t want to go out?
Sandy: What? And have you lock me out again? No fucking way.
Me: Suit yourself.
…….
Sandy: Have you got any decent weed?
Me: You know where it’s kept.
Sandy: A big doobie is the only thing in fucking weather like this.
Me: You’re right there. Roll me one while you’re at it.
Sandy: Will do. I’ll just have a dump in the bath first.
Me: *Sigh*
It’s a dog’s life.
Peace to both of you – quick Sandy pop out before the roll up – he’ll more than forget about you after…….. Happy Sunday – its torrential here!!!
Too late!
I might have guessed!
Hmm, maybe Sandy needs to learn how to use the loo like that cat from “Meet the Parents”?
She tried, but she kept falling off. She’s too big. It was embarrassing for her and rather messy.
Hi Sandy, ask grandad to hold a brolly over you when you nip out for a pee.
*smack me upside the head* now I get it 🙂 oh, for the good ole days…shoulda never left them behind…
Nah, you don’t want to train a dog to use the loo anyway….then you’d have an arrogant, superior “I know everything, get outta my way” pet.
Geri – Then I’d get wet?
Prin – Get what? She is one of those dogs anyway, as she does know most things…
You can wear one of those little hats with an umbrella sticking out of the top grandad.
I’m amazed that nobody’s invented an indoor toilet for dogs yet(!)
Sandys not an English Setter is she?
get how you write such entertaining posts! wish i had a big old fat one right now, maybe i could get rid of this block i’m having as of late….but alas, i’m in the job search mode so there’ll be none of that until after the hiring process anyway 🙂
Geri – Sandy has. I’d call it a bath, though 🙁
John O – No. She’s more of a Border Collie.
Prin – I wasn’t going to write anything today, as my mind was blank. It wasn’t until Sandy came into the room and started chatting…….
Border Collie, what a great dog! But which border is she guarding? By the way I didn’t know that Border Collies had opposable thumbs, if she can roll a fat one for you can you still breed her and sell me a pup?
John O – She is a great dog. She reads a lot and even writes a little on the Interweb. She learned how to roll spliffs [and drive] by watching me. I’m not sure how she does it, but she rolls a mean one. As for a pup? FORGET IT! Would you sell your children??
They’re both big scrapping young lads that are not too opposed to work and they know a good spliff when they see one. Down side, they eat alot! Which one do you want or I can give you a great deal on a two for one.
Is Sandy any relation to Bastardface ?
John O – No deal. I have enough on my hands with a daughter, thanks.
TT – That flea-bitten mutt?? Don’t even mention them in the same sentence. My Sandy is much more refined and intelligent.
what a day. cork beat the crap outa kerry and now grandad and his dog have a tiff. si happy I went for a few scoops. hope my slepping is OK
I’d murder a doobie!
grandad back to normal? me think so – love it!
Somebody took a dump on my coal-bag last week. I’m not quite sure what their point was supposed to be.
K8 – I will reserve judgment, but I have my suspicions.. 😉
I suggest installing another smaller bathroom altogether with nothing but a floor slanting toward a central drain that has a garbage disposal installed into it and four large shower heads in the ceiling for full coverage. Then Sandy can use that one to her heart’s content and all it takes is turning on the shower heads for a bit and running the disposal in case of any solids hanging in the mixture.
Of course you’ll have to spray it down with disinfectant once in awhile and venting to the outside would probably be wise especially if the prevailing wind was heading towards the neighbor’s place (install a good exhaust fan 😉 ).
Kirk – That is very good thinking. What I may do [to save space and building costs] is just convert the existing bathroom. After all, with shower heads and a hole in the floor it will serve all functions for all users irrespective of species?
The first thing that came to mind upon reading your response was something along the lines of “as long as your other half doesn’t mind…”, but then I considered what your reply to that would most likely be and I stopped that train of thought.
Can’t see any problem in making it a uni-species bathroom (new term?). I would suggest keeping a couple of pairs of those “shower shoes” handy for those midnight runs though. Of course you realize this is going to bring a whole new meaning to “the morning after” and the “Aztec two-step” don’t ya know.
You’re getting to know me and Herself… 😉
I’m going to trademark UniSpecies – it will come in very handy [and profitable] when the Aliens invade?
You have painted a lovely picture of me doing a Maori Haka early on a Monday morning as I pick my way across the floor??
Personal experience, sir. In Italy they appear to take care of all such business standing up or at least that’s the impression I got with the various bathrooms I visited there.
The stories I could tell.