I have found a new tactic for dealing with cold callers.
I got tired of asking them for proof of identity.
Voice: Am I speaking to Grandad?
Me: You are.
Voice: Hello. I’m from TalkTalk.
Me: Fuck off.
Me: I don’t like cold callers. Fuck off.
Voice: But I can save you lots of money.
Me: Go away.
Voice: Do you not want to save lots of money?
Me: No. I love wasting money.
Voice [sounding surprised]: You like wasting money?
Me: Yes. I hate the stuff. I can’t get rid of it fast enough. It took me a long time to find the most expensive phone company and I’m not changing now.
Voice: Are you serious?
Me: Absolutely. I keep selling my things so I can burn the cash in the fire.
Voice: You…..? I mean……? And you……?
Me: Can you promise me you are more expensive than anyone else?
Voice: Thank you for taking our call.