There seems to be a rumour doing the rounds that I am dead.
My obituary even appears in Damien Mulley’s site.
The bad news is that I’m not. I know this will come as a shock to many of my loyal fans [like Bertie, Harney and Dubya] but that’s the way it is. You’ll just have to put up with it.
One interesting bit of mind-rambling I did yesterday was to take some figures off Google Analytics.
Apparently in the year, I had around 66,000 visitors. Each of them spent an average of three minutes on the site. So this makes a total of 198,000 minutes spent viewing the site.
I know you all view the site during working hours, in between sessions of poker, Facebook and searching for p0rn on Google, so this represents 3,300 hours of productivity lost.
I haven’t a clue what you earn, but you all have computers, so you mostly have office jobs, and must be reasonably intelligent, so I will assume an average salary of €15 an hour [I may be wrong – I’m way out of touch with these things].
This means I am costing the world economy €49,500 a year. And that is a first year, with a bit of growth to be expected in my second year.
So it would pay Dubya and Bertie [and George?] to get together and grant me an annual salary of [say] €50,000 a year to stop blogging. It would have to be index linked, of course.
Am I being unreasonable?