The fans have hit the S.H.I.T.
Once more, with feeling, I have a problem.
For those of you who are new to this place, I have [had] a friend Ron, who with our pal Dick runs a web design business. I shot Ron [accidentally, I might add] a few weeks ago but couldn’t tell Dick. So I had to lash off and buy “HTML for Dummies”, “MySQL for Dummies”, “PHP for Dummies” and “CSS for Dummies” and then pretend to be Ron. They are incredibly boring books, by the way. Don’t get them if you want a laugh.
My problem is that I seem to be a better businessman than Ron.
My first site was a great success, and the phone hasn’t stopped ringing since.
I now have lost count of the number of jobs I’m working on. I think it’s six or seven. And they all want me to finish yesterday. I had two phone calls yesterday – two more jobs…..!
I am now slowly sinking in a morass of dollar signs and curly brackets. I have nightmares about pixels and database updates. I have resurrected S.H.I.T.
I want to sit here and smoke my pipe and drink my tea. I want to write rude posts on my blog. I want to visit other peoples blogs and leave rude comments there. I want to relax and enjoy my retirement. But I don’t have the time any more.
Mind you, the money is f*cking good!
I’ve just recovered from my seizure after clicking on the first link. My eyes are still burning!
Robert,
Yes, it was startling, wasn’t it ?
Especially, the damned black cat running across the bottom of the screen.
What do they mean by the Wages of Sin? You get paid to break the Commandments? How much? Let me know. There are a few I will break for nothing. Been doing it for years. But I sure would like to get paid if possible.
For Instance:
How much for Coveting my neighbor’s goods?
D’you like it, Robert? Good. Isn’t it? They wanted a site that stood out.
The black panther was my idea, Nancy. Do you like the way he only runs backwards?
And forget his goods… How much do I get for coveting my neighbour’s wife?
Yeah, Grandad but my neighbor has a Lexus and I REALLY covet it.
Don’t I get paid for that?
wow, I clicked on it too and that is sure one hell of a website I won’t forget anytime soon!
You need to get shit.ie in order to get a good presence on the internet. Unfortunately hit.ie isn’t available, so s.hit.ie mightn’t be an option 🙂
Niall
If you arte better than Ron was, does it mean you get a raise?
you bastard! my eyes are still bleeding….
Nancy – No. Too big. Get a smaller car.
Paul – All my sites are unforgettable….
Niall – Do you think I need it? Can I not my site on Geocities?
Grannymar – I might, if I could ever pluck up the courage to tell Dick.
Doc – You’re moaning again. I don’t like squatters in my garden shed who moan.
Okay, Grandad, the guy on the other side of me has a Ford Fiesta.
I don’t really covet it a lot, but maybe a hundred bucks worth.
I speak seriously …
Did you really make that site?
Though you’re not going to answer truthfully here but …
Nice Grandad.
That first link has put that hymn into my head
“Mine eyes have seen the gory..”
You’ll be humming it all week now.
Scared the heck outa me, especially when the cat yeowed at me! You mean it was legit? Okay I’ll try and work up the nerve to go back in and check it out.
Son…
i was going to tell you this in an e-mail but I am so excited that I wanted to share: we are on our way over to live with you! Isn’t that great?
Don’t worry about you sleeping in the shed – I’ve already made the monetary arrangements and you will be well pleased I feel. We should arrive just before Christmas.
Your Ol Dad
p.s. Little K, our 4 year old, is very much looking forward to having a big brother teach her to shoot tourists: rest up!!!
p.p.s. should you want more information about the money, all you need to know is here.
p.p.p.s. – oh this will be GREAT!
Nancy – Fiestas are nice [I’ve had two of ’em]. Just go in and take it.
Daz – Of course I did. You know how honest I am.
SID – There you go now! I have you singing hymns. I knew the site would be effective…
Hoof – It scared you? Try Prozac.
Doc – Either you’re losing the plot again, or you are very generous. Thanks for the £20,000,000. It arrived safely in my account this morning.