A short while ago I wrote about the evils of television.
But Television is fighting back.
They obviously thought they could appeal to my vanity and could win me back to their way of thinking if they filmed me.
So they arrived. Truckloads of them. They have already caused three power outages in the area with their arc lights. The road is blocked with vans and lorries and the house is full of people shouting “luvvie” and “that’s a wrap” at each other.
There is chaos. The dog has taken cover in the bedroom. Herself has gone of to the neighbours in a huff, after tripping over several cables. The house is in a mess.
They’ve forgotten about me. I’m sitting here in a corner typing away while some of them huddle around discussing apertures and lighting angles and drinking my weeks supply of tea. The rest are stripping wallpaper off the walls for some reason.
My living room
They must have finally run out of programmes altogether, if they are out here in the wilds filming an unknown old codger tapping away on a laptop. What are they thinking? Is this an unsubtle attempt to win me around? Are they trying to muscle into the Blogging World?
There again, it could be a hoax. The daughter’s bloke has a habit of getting his biker pals to ring me. They tell me that I am live on radio and I am about to win a Carribean Cruise or something if I can answer some silly question. But I’m used to that now and don’t fall for it any more. Maybe they have just gone upmarket a bit to wind me up. But it seems a bit elaborate even for the bikers.
I am completely baffled.
They have already dragged me and the daughter and the dog out into the rain. They made us walk about five miles up and down the lanes and through the woods. And every time I stepped in a puddle or tripped over a branch, they’d shout that they were changing tapes, and could I do it again.
My daughter enjoyed it. Sandy the dog had a ball, and got filthy so now I have to give her a bath. I just got pains in my legs. It has to be some sort of hoax, but it’s a damn good one.
Mind you – if I can swipe the film out of their cameras before they leave, I have a great chance of winning Best Videocast in the Irish Blog Awards next year.