I was talking to Ron last night.

He tells me he has been collecting my logs.

No. He hasn’t been lurking in my sewers – it’s apparently a computery thing.

Seemingly Google really likes my site! It visits me about 50 times a day. That’s a lot. And it is sending people my way.

Now people search for strange things on the web, and I thought I’d try a little experiment a week or so ago. [“Did you find what you were looking for?”] Little did I realise what would happen. Visitors have been flocking to my site. I thought they might, and that is why I gave the post it’s esoteric title.

But I was amazed at what they were looking for. There are some very disturbed people out there. So disturbed that they should really be living in nice little padded rooms with plenty of tranquilisers and very big locks on the doors.

Here is a small selection of some of the things people were looking for..

• big boobs photos
• bum lifters
• sex photos
• my bum
• e mail sex
• funniest blog
• men senior citizen hairy photo
• teens flashing
• boobs nude
• nude neighbours
• google search senior sex orgies
• old senior citizen porn
• seniors only + nude
• senior tits
• grandad sex
• naked photos of senior citizens
• senior citizen remote control
• senior citizen undergarments
• seniors only + bare

Now some of these are worrying. “naked photos of senior citizens”? Do they like wrinkles and droopy things?

And what about “senior citizen remote control”? Is this a paranoid old person, or are they trying to make me paranoid?

And has the world become so computer dependent that someone has to Google “my bum” to find their own arse? Unless, of course he was looking for my bum, in which case he’ll be disappointed, as it’s not on the Internet. It’s under me as I write. On the chair.

Now some of them were flattering.

The person who searched for “old senior citizen porn” clicked the “I’m feeling lucky” button and found my site. I was ranked Number 1. Wow!

I also got a top spot for “funniest blog”, but that’s gone now.

It was flattering while it lasted.

Of course, because I’ve used all these words again, it means that it’s going to push me further up the popularity list for perverts. And they say there is no such thing as bad advertising?

And if any of you don’t believe all this, you can come and examine my logs any time.