Last Friday, Herself decided we were going to watch the Late Late Show.

In our house, I have the remote control, but herself decides what to watch. So I am sort of a remote control in my own right.

For those of you from outside these shores, the Late Late is a chat show hosted by Pat “The Plank” Kenny.

He is not known as the Plank because he’s thick. In fact he is very intelligent. No. He is called the Plank because he is stiff and wooden. He is utterly humourless, and his vanity knows no bounds.

He is the type of presenter who would be excellent at introducing science programmes, or political stuff. But for a light chat show, he is a fish out of water. He has a cringe factor that is off the scale.

I can imagine the Plank rehearsing all day in front of the mirror. Every smile, look, stance or movement is carefully rehearsed to give the best profile to the camera. He is so in love with himself, he is Romeo and Juliet combined into one person. I cannot stand the bloke.

Last Friday was The Toy Show. This is the show where they cram the studio full of the latest toys and supposedly let children try them out. But, of course the Plank had to do all the playing. The Plank is bad enough with adults but he is terrible with children. God help any child who tried to take centre stage. They were cut short and whisked off so that we could see Plank posing again.

I finally had enough of this and despite Herself and her protests I switched over to Podge and Rodge.

Again, for those of you who are not familiar with Podge and Rodge, they are a pair of crusty old bachelor brothers who live “somewhere down the country”. They also host their own chat show. They are both virgins and are both obsessed with sex. They are hilariously funny. They are the best thing on RTE.

They are the only chat show I know of that can interview the most boring people and still make it funny. If the interviewee is boring, they let him or her know it and proceed to take a rise out of him or her. They are merciless. I would love to see them interview the Plank.

This week they are having their own toy show. A sex toy show, of course. That should be good. Their omnibus edition is on tomorrow night. I’m counting down the hours.

If only RTE could see the light. Let Podge and Rodge host the Late Late Show, and relegate the Plank to the small hours.

But then two hours of laughter would probably be too much of a strain on the old heart.