Dismantling the iPhone 7

So the iPhone 7 has hit the streets?

Be still my beating heart!

It seems that people queued overnight to lay their hands on the precious new device which varies in price from £539 up to £879.  Bloody hell!  It must be really something special to warrant a price like that?

 

Judging by the cheering and the sheer joy on the faces it is worth every penny?

Let's have a look at the brand spanking new features that are worth staying up all night for.

It's black!  Wow!  That is really some innovation isn't it?  But wait a minute… My phone is black and I only paid about €50 for it.

It's waterproof!  Right, I'll give them that one.  Mine isn't but then strangely enough I have never really felt the need to phone someone while at the bottom of a swimming pool.

It has no earphone socket!  Mine has, which means I can use any old earphones I happen to find lying around.  Not that I use the earphones much……..

It has a camera with an anti-shake feature!  My old Canon has that, and that's a few years old.

It has a 12 Megsomething camera.  Okay, my Canon is only 10 but I'm happy with that and literally wouldn't lose a night's sleep over it.

It has 2x zoom lens!  What the fuck?  My Canon has a 20x zoom lens with a digital zoom on top of that.  I can photograph a fly fornicating a mile away.  So a 2x zoom is hardly something to crow about.

So what else does it do [or in the case of earphones – not do]?  Presumably you can make phone calls on it?  Mine does that too.  Presumably you can install applications on it like a mini computer?  I can do that on mine, though I much prefer my laptop as it has a proper keyboard [even if it is dyslexic].  Does it make a cup of tea?  Can you have sex with it?  Does it mow the lawn?  Does it do anything that is worth almost a month's pension?

I feel sorry for those sad fucks who have been so brainwashed by the advertising that they have to have something for no other reason than it's new.  Their self esteem is so low that they cannot enter a social group without having the latest model.

They truly are the knuckledraggers of the Selfie Generation.

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Comments

Dismantling the iPhone 7 — 24 Comments

  1. "Presumably you can make hone calls"

    Would certainly be interested in what a "hone call" is 😉

    Is that like a phone call with a silent "P"?

  2. first of all its the lens quality that counts not the mega pixel count. these idiots are too shallow to understand that ;). SLRs would still blow this out of the water.

    Not to go off topic but I wanted to show someone an article on your site that I cant find. It was the post that included a video of this big fat anti smoking guy in oz berating a woman who was smoking in a 'no smoking outdoor zone'. If it does not ring a bell its cool

  3. Most sensible people who have an interest in these things know that if you want something like this iPhone 7 and you want it to work properly, you wait six months until the idiots who queued all night have gone through the frustrations of finding all the bugs and reporting them to Apple, and then you buy it. By which time, the price should have dropped, too.

    Personally, I wouldn't buy any Apple product on principle, not since they declared that they would void the warranty of any Apple product used by a smoker. Something to do with not wanting to expose their technicians to 'third-hand smoke' or some such imbecility. I think they had to do a U-turn on that one, but whatever, this is one user of technology who will never, ever, countenance buying anything with the Apple logo on it.

    • Likewise – wouldn't touch Apple with the proverbial.  Overpriced and over dominated by their own software.  My attitude predates their smoking thing by many years but I wasn't surprised when they announced it. 

      [*Sorry, Mr Mallon!*]

      • Heh! Yes, my apologies to John also.

        Quite apart from the smoking thing, I agree with GD insofar as I think that all Apple products are more of an overpriced fashion statement for the sheeple than a sensible choice of hardware. My Samsung S5 mini will do me fine for a few years yet. Does far more than I need, has shitloads of software available should I ever want to download it, takes two SIM cards, is waterproof and dustproof, has survived being dropped numerous times, and most importantly, it fits in my pocket. Not only that, it only cost me about €250 (unlocked and not tied to any provider) when I bought it a year or two ago. Current battery problems with the new Samsung notwithstanding, I think they are as good a manufacturer as any.

  4. Apple are clearly taking the piss with these incremental upgrades. I myself have an iPhone 6 and all that Apple have been doing since is making very slight improvements to each update since, and because the real Apple Fan-Boys (like the idiots in the picture) buy anything new that Apple release Apple will get away with doing these crappy upgrades.

    They won’t have a “Nokia Moment” as all their eggs are not in one basket but they’re going to be getting left behind by Samsung at this rate in the mobile field.

    • Last week [I think it was] Herself found an iPhone for sale on one of those swappy sites and wanted to know if I was interested in buying it.  She now knows my opinion of Apple!  I'm actualy thinking of downgrading my Samsung to something a little less techy.

      • Oh don't get me wrong buddy I absolutely love my iPhone, it's just the upgrade con that annoys me. I just love the layout and how easy it is to navigate around. The only really annoying thing is iTunes, it can be a bloody nightmare especially if you have any hooky songs, of which I have thousands. Any songs purchased from iTunes are dead easy to manage (you can see what Apple have done there can't you?)

        I used to have a Samsung Galaxy S2 a few years ago and the only main advantage I found was that adding songs was a complete doddle, you just drag and drop, way easier than pissing around with iTunes. But other than that I'd take the iPhone over anything else out there at the moment.

        And keep the Samsung, techy is good. 🙂

  5. I have a mobile ‘phone. It makes telephone calls and sometimes receives text messages. It cost ten pounds, has no other features, and works as I wish. Why and how can any one want something new just for it’s promotional goodies? By the way, why do so many people enter a restaurant and promptly start a conversation on their ‘phone – often with a person in the next room?

  6. I am a mac fan BUT would never buy an Iphone. For the price quoted you can by an Ipad pro 2 or one of their laptops. Still as noted above a fool and their money.

  7. I like Apple products. I’m typing this on a MacBookPro. Makes a Windows machine look lie a piece of shite.

    I also have an iPod with a 30Gb hard drive and a wheely thing. My son in law gave it to me when he bought an iPod Touch. They’ve stopped making them now. I put a new screen on it and a new battery while I was at it. Got them on eBay for peanuts. Years of life left in it yet but the trendies wouldn’t be seen dead with it!

    I’ve got an iPad equivalent. It’s called a Kindle Fire that I got on black Friday for £29.99

    As for a phone, I have a Nokia PAYG that I got in Tesco for £7.99 with £10 free credit on it – so basically they gave it to me. I’ve still got £5.63 credit on it after 3 years!

    If I want to take pictures I use this really old fashioned thing called a camera. If I want to listen to music I use an mp3 player. If I want to call people, I use a phone. If I want internet on the go I use the Kindle.

    The dozy cunts should just do the math and also figure out that if one bit breaks, then it’s all buggered. You could buy 5 of each for the cost of a basic iPhone 7.

    Simples….

    • "Makes a Windows machine look like a piece of shite".  In fairness, anything makes a Windows machine look like a piece of shite. 

      For the money they're spending, they could get a decent laptop, a decent camera and a simple mobile phone, all of which combined could do a hell of a lot more than an iPhone.

      But then I suppose they's miss out on Pokemon Go?

  8. My phone is Chinese, every damn thing works and works well. The satnav on it beats my friends top of the line Nokia and it cost £100 inc delivery which to be entirely honest is plenty. What sort of deluded knob spends latest iPhone kind of money and believes that he is the winner in the deal? As for the chubby clown in the centre of the photo watch the film “God Bless America” and see if that isn’t the same moronic fat kid singing in it. I’m beginning to the see the merits in involuntary sterilisation…

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