So the iPhone 7 has hit the streets?
Be still my beating heart!
It seems that people queued overnight to lay their hands on the precious new device which varies in price from £539 up to £879. Bloody hell! It must be really something special to warrant a price like that?
Judging by the cheering and the sheer joy on the faces it is worth every penny?
Let's have a look at the brand spanking new features that are worth staying up all night for.
It's black! Wow! That is really some innovation isn't it? But wait a minute… My phone is black and I only paid about €50 for it.
It's waterproof! Right, I'll give them that one. Mine isn't but then strangely enough I have never really felt the need to phone someone while at the bottom of a swimming pool.
It has no earphone socket! Mine has, which means I can use any old earphones I happen to find lying around. Not that I use the earphones much……..
It has a camera with an anti-shake feature! My old Canon has that, and that's a few years old.
It has a 12 Megsomething camera. Okay, my Canon is only 10 but I'm happy with that and literally wouldn't lose a night's sleep over it.
It has 2x zoom lens! What the fuck? My Canon has a 20x zoom lens with a digital zoom on top of that. I can photograph a fly fornicating a mile away. So a 2x zoom is hardly something to crow about.
So what else does it do [or in the case of earphones – not do]? Presumably you can make phone calls on it? Mine does that too. Presumably you can install applications on it like a mini computer? I can do that on mine, though I much prefer my laptop as it has a proper keyboard [even if it is dyslexic]. Does it make a cup of tea? Can you have sex with it? Does it mow the lawn? Does it do anything that is worth almost a month's pension?
I feel sorry for those sad fucks who have been so brainwashed by the advertising that they have to have something for no other reason than it's new. Their self esteem is so low that they cannot enter a social group without having the latest model.
They truly are the knuckledraggers of the Selfie Generation.