Swimming in a tsunami of sex

I have read some lurid headlines in the past and this one has to be one of the best –

Ireland facing a ‘tsunami’ of sex and porn addiction.

What?

Sex addiction was the main issue in six per cent of presentations – an issue that affected less than half a per cent of clients in 2009.

Oh do fuck off!  Sex "addiction" has been around before man even evolved from the ape.  In fact man never would have evolved in the first place as the apes would have been disinterested in reproducing.

The male [and I include most species here] has three basic instincts – food, self preservation and sex.  Without any one of those, the species would die out.  But then along come the Puritans and thinking about sex is decreed to be "an addiction".  The reason for the dramatic increase is because you have ony just invented it.  Like second hand smoke, it wasn't a problem until you lot made it into one.

I suppose it was only a matter of time before the Puritans got around to sex.  Like alcohol, sugar and tobacco it is pleasurable, and we really can't have that now, can we?  The Great Unwashed must not enjoy themselves, so something must be done.  They have found a way of making whoopee so it must be stopped, banned or outlawed.

“It’s a game-changer.. With the internet you can find a sex partner within 15 minutes – as quickly as you can find a take-away,” Ms Ruigrok said.

Damn!  I don't know where you live, Ms Ruigrok but I wish I could find a take-away within 15 minutes.  And strange as it may seem, if I type in "King Prawn Vindaloo" I don't get that many requests for sex in the results.  Maybe you're typing in the wrong criteria?  So maybe if I typed in "King Prawn huge tits gagging for it Vindaloo" I might get different results but I doubt I'd want to eat it.

Sex addiction was not simply about a person having a lot of sex or partners, but about how their thinking about and having sex impacted on their functioning, self-care, relationships and mental well-being.

Ah!  So I don't have to search the Interweb for randy housewives in the locality?  That's a relief [if you’ll pardon the expression].  The problem is not sex itself, but thinking about it?  Seeing as men are supposed to think about sex every six seconds I can understand your concern, though speaking for myself I would say that once an hour is nearer the mark, but then I'm getting old.

Listen Lads.  Sex is not an addiction.  Just because people think about it a lot does not mean they are addicted.  Next you'll be saying that breathing air is an addiction because everyone does it and people tend to get a little upset if they can't get any air.  You people see everything in terms of a "clinical diagnosis" whether it's a badly behaved kid who has "ADHD" or thinking about sex being an addiction.

“There is intense self loathing involved, huge shame… At its core you see disordered attachment, chasing an intimate connection.”

There is only one reason there might be self loathing and shame, and that's because you labeled it as a "problem" and an "addiction".  Before that it was just part of life.  Some people are randier than others but I bet there are very few men who haven't drooled over a nice spot of cleavage?

To all those who think they have an "addiction" there is a very simple solution..

to hand, as it were….

Just get a grip!

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Comments

Swimming in a tsunami of sex — 33 Comments

  1. Well.  It took me a few hours of careful thought (in between dancing images of tits'n bums'n flange, obviously), but I finally worked out that Ruigrok is an anagram of 'Curtain twitching knob-sock'…

    • Why bother asking for it?  It wouldn't be in our sweaty hands for more than a couple of nano-seconds before the EU demands it all.  That's why they are ordering Ireland to demand the tax off Apple.

      • True. If Ireland didn't "owe" the EU, the toe-rags in Brussels wouldn't be interested.  Its just one big fuster-cluck, innit? 

  2. "With the internet you can find a sex partner within 15 minutes"

    Erm, no. A lot of dogey adverts on wierd sites might tell you that, but they're probably only trying to get you to put your card details in. The internet isn't actually filled with thousands of women who are gagging for casual sex. A bit like life really.

    • I get the occasional one telling me that the is someone in my village who is gasping for a bit of rumpy pumpy, and showing a picture of a nubile young Indonesian.  I can state for a fact that there are no nubile young Indonesians in my village!

  3. GD Re Men thinking about sex every six seconds:

    Graeme Garden a qualified GP as well as a comedian was asked that exact question on ‘I’m Sorry I haven’t a Clue’ BBC Radio 4.
    His definitive answer
    “That is a complete phallus!”

  4. “So maybe if I typed in “King Prawn huge tits gagging for it Vindaloo” I might get different results but I doubt I’d want to eat it.”

    That’s a pearler GD, tears running down my face! I’m not going to be able to stop laughing at that for a while!

  5. Next you poor men are dropping like flies from all the thinking about sex.

    Let me see: Roundabout 5 million Irish. Let's assume 50 % of that are men (easier to calculate, no?). So 2.5 million Irish men. 1/2 a percent of that are 12,500 Irish male sex addicts.

    Doesn't sound all that impressive to me.

    Let's go on then. 12,500 Irish male sex addicts thinking about their favourite pastime every 6 secs (no pun intended) – that's 3,000,000 thoughts about sex polluting the mental space of Ireland per 24 hours.

    You Irish are really disgusting people. Something has to be done against this true epidemic (or was it epidemiology?). I'm all for compulsory counselling of all Irish men at least two times a week. And one a week for these poor, harrassed women of yours. Let's see:

    2.5 million men, 2 times a week counselling – that*s 260 million therapy sessions a year. Plus those for these poor, harrassed women of yours, that's another 1.25 million sessions.

    Sounds lucrative. I think I'm going to start thinking about immigrating to your lovely country. Think I need an education first? Maybe as a tsunamiist?

     

      • I wasn't acutally thinking about conquering this mighty task all on my own. But as it seems to be quite fashionable to jump on the first gravy train of public health that comes along, I thought I might jump on this one?

    • @ Claudia

      I have to admit to getting a kick out of the latest German initiative that forces women to name the real father of their children.

      Seems quite a number of guys over there have been coughing up big money to raise children they thought to be their own. And now want a full refund!

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/08/29/germany-to-force-women-to-disclose-if-children-are-from-an-affai/

      Let's hope they don't take it back to the immediate post-war period when many were conceived for as little as a pair of stockings or a pack of cigarettes!

      And let's hope it doesn't gain traction in the UK. (Hint. Office party in Dec, sprog in Aug).

       

  6. If I remember there was one of these websites hacked not long ago and over 98% of females listed were fake.

    by the way is there such a thing as second hand sex

  7. Well, I just Googled 'King Prawn huge tits gagging for it Vindaloo', and guess what came up first on the search?

    Search Results

    Swimming in a tsunami of sex | Head Rambles

    headrambles.com/2016/08/30/swimming-in-a-tsunami-of-sex/

    9 hours ago – And strange as it may seem, if I type in "King Prawn Vindaloo" I don't get … So maybe if I typed in "King Prawn huge tits gagging for it Vindaloo" I …

    https://www.google.gr/?hl=en&gws_rd=cr,ssl&ei=X-TFV668HoGOU523itAE#hl=en&q=King+Prawn+huge+tits+gagging+for+it+Vindaloo

    So there you go, GD, you've been re-classified as a porn site.

    Mind you, the next entry looks a bit more promising:

    HQ BUTT. Big Ass / Gagging: 1168 videos. Free Tube Porn Videos.

    http://www.hqbutt.com/en/176/gagging/

    2 years ago 05:31 TryBoobs gagging, deepthroat, lingerie, deep ass fucking, pov throat, pov milf blowjob, titty, inside, tanned, tryboobs, blowjob big boobs …

    Missing: kingprawnvindaloo

    Unfortunately missing the 'king prawn vindaloo' bit.

    Number three, however, looks like the biz:

    big-tits-girls-gagging videos – XVIDEOS.COM

    http://www.xvideos.com/tags/bigtits-girls-gagging

    XVIDEOS bigtits-girls-gagging videos, free. … Big tits black girl harsh mouth fuck. (5 min) Porn … Gagging big tits teen slut needs break during e… (4 min) Porn …

    Missing: kingprawnvindaloo

    Still lacking the 'king prawn vindaloo', but definitely looks like sex addict material. I might have a look at that later…

    • The dog is giving me strange looks because I'm sitting here laughing at a screen.

      Indeed, I am well and truly classed as a porn site, and if the search engines get hold of your comment I am well and truly fucked [in the "in trouble" way, not the other].

      I used to get tons of searches looking for Senior Citizen Porn but that seems to have died down a bit now.  I blame all those other inferior porn sites.

  8. What?! An article implying negative aspect of sex made it into popular meedja? Has there been an apocalypse?

    Certainly wouldn’t call it addiction, but is “habit-forming” a better word? Y’know, one of those things that won’t leave you in fits if you abstain, but so-on and so-forth and such-things…

  9. I am content, I now have an official tag for my condition. Before I just thought I was a dirty old man, but now I know I'm a sex addict. Can I get a government grant for this sort of thing?

    • 12 Step program for you Flaxen:

      We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior – that our lives had become unmanageable.

      Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

      Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

      Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

      Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

      Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

      Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

      Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

      Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

      Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

      Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

      Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.

       

       

      • Well, yes that's an interesting viewpoint, I refute it thusly:

        I declare, I'm an atheist. I would like to think I'm a rational atheist and my traumatic upbringing in a Jehovah's Witness household had nothing to do with my ultimate conversion. The concept of god is incoherent and contradictory.

        At least I've been set free from the Judeo-Christian paradigm of sin. Where every pleasure, if indulged, is supposed to lead to an after live in hell. As I no longer believe in life after brain death, this viewpoint holds no terrors for me. How can a dreamless sleep bring anxiety or terror?  

        Therefore, I enjoy the pleasures of the flesh to the full and feel not a jot or an iota of guilt- just unrestrained pleasure.

    • Sadly I have the greatest respect for the Rutland Centre.  They have done fantastic work with rehabilitating addicts over the years.  I'm just surprised they have lowered themselves to spouting headline grabbing rubbish like this.

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