A few weeks ago I set up an account on Survey Monkey.

A friend was doing some thesis or other and for reasons best known to himself, he wanted to set up a survey so I set up the account, pointed him to it and let him loose.  I then forgot all about it.

A couple of days ago I got an email from them with a handy little attachment giving their top five mistakes that people make in surveys.

Naturally the Tobacco Control Industry breaks every single rule in every single question they ever put out but then we all know that.

The thought crossed my mind that it was a long time since I had garnered opinion from you gracious readers so I thought I'd set up my own little survey.  It's partly about this site and partly about smoking habits. There only nine questions and it is completely anonymous.

Please proceed and I shall be glad to publish the results after a couple of days.

And I have discovered people are having problems! If it complains about security and expired certificates and shit like that, either accept the certificate and tell your browser that everything is safe [which it is – Curratech is grand I guarantee] or else just follow the link own below.

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Monkeying with a survey — 17 Comments

      • Yes, you should have allowed multiple choices on that one. I just couldn't decide.

        According to Firefox, you haven't configured your website properly, so to protect my information from being stolen, they wouldn't connect to the survey site. Although they were quite happy to connect via the link. You are obviously harvesting my information to sell to the highest bidder, GD. Supplementing the pension, are you? You should get at least couple of cents for all my stuff – doubtless there will be a frenzied bidding war for the 'nisakiman' info. I'd better update my Malwarebytes, in anticipation…

        • You have no idea of the trouble I went to to embed that survey!  It just refused to work and just showed a link to their site.  In the end I had to embed their code in a new web page on a separate site, and it's that page which is embedded in this page.  Talk about going around the houses!

          Unfortunately I forgot to demand email addresses so the data is worth fuck all in monetary terms.  A very sad omission seeing I was following the TC template?


  1. I get the following message (in a pretty little border of course):

    The owner of curratech.ie has configured their web site improperly. To protect your information from being stolen, Firefox has not connected to this web site.


  2. I tried the linked version as the other way wasn't accessible on my laptop. I answered NO to the question whether I smoked, but this caused a difficulty when I tried not to answer how many fags a day I smoked. The survey insisted I had to answer all questions, so I untruthfully answered 10-20 a day. On the question Who's a cunt, I really don't know who Messrs Glantz and Chapman are, but I answered all three just to please you and hope that makes you happy, even if it doesn't make them happy. That's enough scientific surveys for me this week. If you want to know who I think should win the Rose of Tralee competition – buy me a drink and I'll discuss the matter.

    • See my reply to Nisakiman above!  As I said, the survey is based upon the Tobacco Control system and I have to point out that if you claim you don't smoke and then go on to claim you smoke 10 – 20 a day then you must have lied and are definitely a smoker.  Surveys are never wrong.  We'll see how the results pan out in a few days time.

      Rose of Tralee?  Oh God!  Another weekend's television to be missed. 


  3. Oo er! " Safari cannot verify the identity of the website "curratech.ie"  The certificate for the website is invalid.  You might be connecting to a website pretending to be "curratech.ie" which could put your confidential info at risk".  Have you been playing with your knobs and whistles again Grandad?  Or has the unthinkable happened and you've been infiltrated by artificial intelligence?

    I completed the survey via the link as there is just a blank space between "…..couple of days" and the link. 🙂  

    • Bugger!  I knew there would be a catch.  Curratech is fine – it's just a server I control, and I stuck the file on that, but its certificate has expired.  It's perfectly safe though.  I hope?!

  4. Very enjoyable, though it wouldn't let me submit until I ticked some Reilly chappie. So I did, though I don't know a darned thing about him.

    Harley gave a link over at Frank's place where I believe you may learn how to ensure your readers' always side with your mission.


    Never seen one quite this biased.

    • I've just sorted them out in Birmingham with a string of NOs.

      PS: I'm not from Birmingham or Wicklow, so that makes me a neutral observer.

      • Sadly it's not relevant.  That poll was a "public consultation" in order that they could say that they had held a "pubic consultation".  They made their minds up long before, so even if everyone answered NO it would be completely ignored

    • You are right to select Reilly.  Ex Minister for Health and ex Minister for Children – a devoted and fanatical Nanny Statist – a right cunt.

  5. Yeah I got the same reply from a few different browsers but went and connected via the link.
    Funny poll!
    Thanks for the laughs!

    • Welcome Cigarbabe!  Sorry about that.  It was only after the complaints started rolling in that I realised there was something wrong, but by then it was too late.

      Laughs?  I have a feeling that some aren't taking my poll seriously?

  6. No problems with the security cert and I did the right thing and lied like hell when taking your survey so all is good there. One of the most realistic and honest surveys I've ever participated in by the way.

    • Thanks for that.  That cert thing is a right bugger.  Short of shelling out a few bob for a new cert there is little I can do.

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