So the Olympics are nearly upon us again?

Big fucking yawn.

I have no interest in sport at the best [or even the worst] of times, but the Olympics leave me completely cold.  I just cannot see the point of them.

Each country breeds a number of athletes who are then trained to within an inch of their lives to run around in circles or throw things and are then sent off to the arena basically to compare training regimes.  It's not the athlete who wins – it' the trainers. 

There is no point to the various events either.  First they run around 100m circles and then they run around 200m circles and so on.  Why?  And is this not discriminatory towards any circle that isn't divisible by 100?  What is the point of running as fast as you can in order to arrive where you started?  Instead of running 26 miles, why don't they just use a bus or a taxi?  The only event in the entire circus which has any merit is boxing [and I hate that too], as it can come in useful if someone is trying to steal my pint in the pub.

I have two suggestions to make the Olympics just a tad more interesting than watching raindrops dribble down a window.

Firstly they should make the events a little more interesting and constructive.  Why can't they have an event to see who can build a house the fastest?  Maybe they could hold 100km, 200km and 1000km races to build a stretch of motorway?  They could have Hunt the Drugdealer, or Cleaning Graffiti events?  Here in Ireland we could have Fill the Potholes or Hunt the Politicians?  At least then the hosting country would get something out of it instead of a massive debt and a load of disused sports facilities?

The other suggestion is this doping lark.  We all know they all do it and it's just a competition to see who doesn't get caught out.  Fuck that.  Encourage doping and instead of countries competing, we could pit teams from pharmaceutical companies against each other.  Pump the athletes up to the gills with steroids and other lovely shit and let them loose on the track.  The winner is the one who is still alive when he [or she] crosses the finishing line.

Bring on those two suggestions and I might even watch.

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Running rings — 11 Comments

  1. You do know that in the ‘original’ Olympics held in ancient Greece, all the athletes competed naked ?

    Now it’s not for me to suggest that would make you more interested in the Olympics, but it might lol

  2. Ooh ooh ooh!

    In the winter add the assassinating hunting politicians part to the biathlon; in the summer combine the politician killing hunting with archery and the triathlon, both of which need some perking up.

    Think you're on to something, grandad….

  3. A recent headline in the DailyFail " Rio Olympics to feature 2 British male Transgender atheletes who will compete as Women".    Where to start on that one………………………….?

    Its all rigged anyway, as is most televised sport.

    • I thought most female athletes were male anyway?  Certainly I would be very suspicious of some of them if they started chatting me up in a bar.  Or maybe they are female but with more testosterone pumped into them than Hulk Hogan?

      • Aye that's true!  Some of them are seriously scary!

        Its only a matter of time before we see the "Silicone-titty-gonads-voluntarily-removed" olympics and the "Titties-voluntarily-removed-strap-a-dick-to-me" olympics.

         God help the generations to follow!

  4. I'd prefer one single event called, "Last Man Standing" although they'd probably want to call it, "Last Person Standing". Might be interesting?

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