Bricking heavy smokers

I came across an interesting article the other day.

The first thing I learned from it is that 6 trillion cigarette butts are discarded every year.  I presume they sent out some poor sod to count them all, which must have been a tedious job?

The second thing I learned is that those 6 trillion butts weigh 1.2 trillion tons.  Now my maths is getting a little rusty, but by my calculations, that means that each butt weighs in at 0.2 tons, which in turn means that a pack of twenty weighs four tons, and that's not even counting the packaging or the unburnt part of the cigarettes?  It's no wonder they call them heavy smokers?

The gist of the article though was that some bright spark in Australia has discovered a use for all these butts.  He turns 'em into bricks!  Not only that, but the bricks he makes are cheaper to produce, lighter and better insulators.  It sounds to me like he's onto a winner here?

So everybody should be happy.  The environment wins because there won't be any butts lying around any more and also less fuel is used firing the bricks.  Not only will the bricks be cheaper to use, making housing cheaper, but we will end up with better insulation in our homes which is also environmentally friendly.  The only problem is that the world's population will have to go into cigarette butt production overdrive, so those fuckwits in Tobacco Control will have to be disbanded, or burned at the stake or something, because they are being singularly environmentally unfriendly.

Of course there is one drawback to this little idea – those morons who actually believe in the myth of third hand smoke will have nowhere to live.  Their very homes would be slowly and inexorably killing them as the deadly toxins will be seeping out of their walls and strangling them as they sleep.

Of course this could be considered as a bonus.

Anyone who actually believes in such ludicrous notions would be quietly culled by their own homes, thereby improving the overall intelligence level of mankind.

You can't argue with Darwin?

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Comments

Bricking heavy smokers — 13 Comments

    • We are constantly being told that the environment is more important than the individual, so I think it's everyone's duty to take up smoking.  I'm now struggling with the idea of how to make my pipe produce butts…….

      • We aren't individuals Grandad, we're merely collateral damage.  If they thought of us as individuals, they might have to develop a conscience and that would never do!

        Maybe your ash would make an excellent addition to the mortar.  🙂

        • According to the Tree Huggers we are all individuals so each one of us is individually responsible for Warble Gloaming, and that's why we have to change our lightbulbs and things.  The Anti-Smokers see us as a seething mass of addicts desperate to escape to freedom.  Maybe the two groups should get together and sort that out?

          I'm sure the ash would mix very well into the brickwork.  I'll write to that bloke in Australia and volunteer a few samples [at a cost of course].

  1. Blimey, 200 kg per butt? Good job I smoke rollies without filters. I'm surprised every smoker doesn't look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, what with working out with a 200 kg butt twenty or so times a day. Smokers obviously have hidden strengths.

    Interesting to read that they anticipate the number of cigarettes consumed to increase by 50% by 2025 (that's only 9 years away). One in the eye for the Tobacco Control end-gamers, what? And I thought that with the advent of 'plain' packaging, everyone was going to stop smoking, or at least, no-one was going to start.

    Oh yes, I do like the idea of houses built of third-hand smoke! That's quite divine! Oh what a tangled web we weave, and all that.

     

    • I must say I was surprised myself at the weight of cigarettes.  A carton of 200 cigarettes would weigh in at 40 tons, which seems a little excessive?

    • Restless Leg Syndrome RLS can be solved by taking magnesium tablets etc according to that article. But what about RSS, Restless Sex Syndrome? What tablets should I take to calm that affliction? Senior citizens like Grandad and me (and several other regular visitors to this family-friendly website) need to be wary of sudden energy spasms that could bring on heart seizures.

    • Thanks for that, SS.  I had heard that Magnesium thing before but according to Doc all my levels are perfectly normal.  It's one of those things I have just learned to live with, like Tinnitus [and RSS!].

      • Sometimes a GP can tell you your levels are normal, but you can be on the low side of it.  To help certain afflictions it can be necessary to be on the higher side so you might well find a course of magnesium very helpful.   It won't hurt you, so maybe well worth a try.  My mum was plagued by restless legs and spent years on a low dose of (I think  it was) Buprenorphine. 

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