Closing time for the pubs?

It was only a matter of time.

Now it is alcohol.

Leo Varadkar has a plan to put calorie counts on beer bottles.

Now those innocents amongst you will say that that is a trivial thing?  Just an extra number on the label?  But read on and you will see five new items for us to read while we down our favourite beer or wine.

Calorie counts, the amount of pure alcohol, a website address [are beer bottles connected to the Interweb?], warnings about drinking while pregnant and warnings of the dangers of alcohol.  Now that is quite a lot of shit to stick on a bottle unless they use a tiny font, which they won't.

Again, the naive will say that it's just a bit of print that is easily ignored.  Those of us with experience of the Anti-Smoker Crusade know different.

You see, those little bits of gubmint propaganda aren't going to have any effect on alcohol consumption, so they are going to insist that the warnings are made more prominent.  And then the lurid images will start appearing – blood gushing out of a crashed car, festering livers and women giving birth to cloven hoofed babies with cat's eyes.  I suppose we can also look forward to "standardised" bottles and cans too?

Of course drinkers are different from smokers.  Your average pub-goer will order draught beer or stout or a class of spirits, so they never get to see the container.  Presumably all glasses will then have to be stamped with warning labels?  And seeing as how each beverage has different characteristics, they'll have to have special glasses for each spirit or beer?

So what else can we look forward to?  Adding colour to all alcohol so that it looks like mud?  Pint glasses cast in the shape of coffins?  Massive tax hikes of course [that goes without saying]. All bottles to be hidden from view in pubs and supermarkets?  Banning half-pint glasses as they only encourage children to drink?  All advertising and sponsorship to be outlawed?

They haven't invented second hand alcohol yet, but they will.  All it takes is some research, and plenty of it. 

Time to dust off the still and the beer making kit.

Let the fun begin.

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Closing time for the pubs? — 16 Comments

  1. The miserablist tendency will only be satisfied when every pub in the UK and Ireland closes their doors for the last time, ,the smoking ban was only one step to that end.

    There are those amongst us who have made it their life's work to destroy the simple pleasures of life ,such as meeting ones friends over a pint in the evening after a days work. They should rot in a hell of their own making .                                                                                                     


    • Welcome Dick!  I frequently get the impression that these Puritans have really miserable, friendless lives and are really resentful at the thought of others actually enjoying life.  Rather than cheer themselves up [maybe with a personality transplant] they prefer to try bringing us down to their level.

  2. Ethanol, also known as ethyl alcohol, is a designated class 1 carcinogen, (in case you don't know!)  As liquids always evaporate a little, the drinker is 'spewing' cancer from their glass in an indoor space. So your pint should come with a lid on it and, of course, anytime you'd like a sip you should have to step out into the rain to do so. BAR STAFF MUST BE PROTECTED.

    • Aw, Jayzus John!!  Don't be encouraging them.  Next thing they'll be poking around pubs with their sniffer wands [financed by us of course] looking for single molecules of highly toxic and carcinogenic substances.

      • It's true. M J McFadden (author of 'Dissecting Anti-Smoker's Brains' and 'Tobakkonacht') has detailed a few times in comments on Frank Davis's blog and elsewhere just what the rate of evaporation is, and how many carcinogenic compounds are given off by an alcoholic beverage. This in response to anti-smoker's claims that there is no such thing as 'Second-Hand Drinking'. And he has also warned that it is a very real possibility that given the success of the risible SHS claims, 'second-hand alcohol' as a threat to bystanders will be deployed by the grey, joyless ones in their drive to deprive all of any pleasure in life.

        Approved asceticism awaits us! Sack-cloth and ashes, and self-flagellation to follow!


  3. When I was a very young man coming on in the world I made the acquaintance of a more elderly gentleman who guided me and provided a workshop where I could fix/destroy equipment or just take it to pieces to see how, He had very strong views on natural selection and a war being a good way to sort the wheat from the chaff. I have to admit that recently I find myself agreeing more and more.Who should we offend first?

    • Bloody hell!  Where do I start?  I doubt it would work though as the Puritans and their lap-dog researchers would claim they can't fight in the war as they have to research ways of more efficiently killing people.  They'd enjoy that

  4. Grandad good news for you, some insurance companies are offering higher pension annuities to smokers and drinkers. Hopefully in the not to distant future they will also include crispy bacon fans as well.

    • Meh!  I get my pension off the old firm.  Those buggers only care whether I'm alive or not [and they can't wait for "not"].  They don't give a shit about my lifestyle.

  5. At a local college they will sell beer to students, facility, and guests over the age of 21 during concerts and shows. A local business man provide all of the plastic glass to the university for free as long as he can place a small ad with his phone number. His business, he is a lawyer specializing in DUI defense. Long live the free market. 

    as a side note, you have to have special training to be allowed to sell alcohol. The College used various non profit groups to staff the venues, the non profit groups kept a certain percentage of the sales. For food sales during sporting events it was about 8% of the gross sales. The only group that showed up for the alcohol sales training was our church youth group. We could not actually use the kids to sell beer, it had to be their parents, but I found it to be funny. 

    • The free market works perfectly well without any gubmint interference [especially for lawyers!].

      Maybe they should introduce classes for buying alcohol, and not just selling it?  There is nothing worse [or funnier] than watching a tourist grab a half pulled pint of stout off the counter before it has settled!

  6. How many calories does a raw egg have? I knew a retired old soldier who some mornings entered a village pub after opening and asked the barman to crack open a raw egg into an empty pint glass and then fill to the top with the black stuff. The customer then consumed his creamy yokey pint to maximum satisfaction. He lived to about 80. Gesundheit.

    • Your typical meal in a glass?  [There's atein' and drinkin' in it]

      I have heard of the practice but have never indulged.  It's probably a good cure for a hangover?

  7. “But there’s no such thing as ‘passive drinking,’” is the predictable cry of non-smoking drinkers whenever the “look out – you’re next” warning is offered to them.  What little innocents they are, bless ‘em!  With alcohol always subtly (and sometimes not-so-subtly) linked by pretty much every TV, radio and newspaper story about crime, disorder, family breakdown, domestic violence or vehicle accidents, drinking has its very-own “innocent bystanders” already waiting in the wings just asking to be exploited “for everyone’s good.”  Even the drinkers’ own argument can be used against them in a poster campaign – cue gory pictures of road accidents, or family violence (with the obligatory scared child in the corner) etc, and the tagline: “No such thing as ‘passive drinking?’ Really?”

    As sure as eggs are eggs, you can be certain that pretty much every social ill besetting society today will very soon be linked inextricably and inarguably with alcohol consumption (of any level, of course), just as every physical ill is now automatically linked, like a nasty knee-jerk reaction, by the health zealots to smoking. 

    All that’s now required is a bit of extra State funding – which must surely come as soon as our great leaders realise that they’ve gone pretty much as far as they can in terms of stopping as many people from smoking as they are able to without making tobacco completely illegal (and they need the money too much to do that) – and the anti-alcohol brigade will be up and running even more quickly and efficiently than the anti-smoking lot were.  After all, they’ve got Tobacco Control’s tried-and-tested methods/tactics/arguments to use as a template, haven’t they?

    Non-smoking drinkers would do well to heed the words of those of us who have “been there, seen the movie, got the t-shirt.”  We know what’s round the corner for them, and, with the benefit of hindsight, could offer them some good advice as to how to counter the anti-booze brigade’s next moves.  But will they?  In my experience, it’s not very likely.  Most of the drinkers I know much prefer to bury their heads in the sand, murmuring to themselves: “But we’re not smokers, so ….”

    Their first mistake, of course, is to make the assumption that these are reasonable, logical, well-meaning people they are dealing with.  Just like ours was.

    • Non-smokers have tended not to take too much interest in the whole Anti-Smoker industry.  Their cry is that they don't smoke and have no interest, and indeed a huge number aligned themselves with the Anti-Smoker movement.  Now they are about to discover exactly what we have been through.  Every time they see their bottle of Chardonnay or their can of lager they will be reminded of the Anti-Everything brigade and the shit smokers have had to put up with.

      Personally I am delighted that the Puritan movement is spreading its wings.  The more they try to ban, the more people will be affected and the more will start to question the whole enterprise.  The Puritans are beginning to recognise this, hence the pathetic apologetic U-turns on the processed meat business.

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