No such thing as a free lunch

I see my good friend Jamie Oliver has been ruffling a few feathers across on t'other island?

The dear boy seems determined that a sugar tax is the only way in which society can possibly be saved from a fate worse than death?

On thing I notice is that he frequently refers to "us" and "we" when talking about this imaginary problem.  "We should be big and bold. Who is running the country? The businesses who are profiting from ill health or is it us?" he says, so presumably he wants to run the country himself and not Big Sugar?  Frankly I wasn't aware that Big Sugar was running the UK but we all live and learn?  And when exactly did Mr Oliver join the ranks of the elected few?  I must have been in the crapper having a dump when that nugget of news was announced.

Now I happen to agree with Mr Oliver.  All sugar should be banned in any form.  That however is not going to solve all health problems [or even any of them], and I would go much further and propose a total ban on food altogether.  When you look at these vast cathedrals of consumerism placed around towns and cities it is patently obvious that Big Food has us firmly in its grasp.  Studies have shown that the only reason we eat food at all is because it is advertised with glitzy packaging and soft piped music.  Unbelievably, I have even seen advertisements for baby food.  How disgusting is that?

Apart from the health aspect there is also the cost.  Billions are being spent on food every year and lunch breaks alone cost industry many billions.  Look at the land waste where good building land is handed over to those farmers who are blatantly in the pocket of Big Food.  Just think of how many houses could be built if farming were abolished?

However, we must take our lessons from the Tobacco Control Industry and introduce progressive slices of legislation, one salami slice at a time until such time as all food is completely denormalised and eventually declared illegal.

As a first step in this process I give you a lesson on going sugar free –


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No such thing as a free lunch — 16 Comments

  1. Is technology advanced enough to help me with an oliverblock, if I could simply switch off any sensory input when in an Oliver infection zone, If it could also offer a Prohibitionist delete, then all the better.

  2. The application of the tactics of the war on tobacco to any other product bring home their absurdity.

    I still treasure the bold Jamie's expression when an interviewer challenged him on one of his campaigns saying, ""Who made you the king?".

    • To listen to the little cunt hectoring Cameron and telling him to "be brave" you'd swear he was the king.  What baffles me is how he gets access to these platforms.  Why do they even bother listening to him?  When all is said and done he's just a cook.  Fuckit, I can brew up a damn good dinner [and do most nights] but I don't claim any special rights? 

      • Sorry Grandad but €unts are useful unlike Jamie as to how he gets access you only have to listen to some of drooling ninnies in England ~ I used to have sit through a lunch break listening to various middle class ejits waxing lyrical how Jamie was sooooo wonderful not mention how beootiful Nigella fat legs was.

        There are whole swathes of the criminally insane who would swear that Jimmy O'liver was the second coming of Christ

  3. Wonderful video. I'd like to send to Australia for a sugar-free mail order bride like the two Kates. Then I'd buy her a pint of sugar-rich beer everyday to compensate for her restricted diet. I'd buy myself two as we hardworking men need the extra energy.

  4. J.O. is a fat tongued monkey faced bastard who likes to shovel shit if it will make him a dime or two.

    I don't recall the twat getting all uppity when he picked up a £3million Sainsbury's contract which set him and jools on the road to millionairedom.

  5. …and I would go much further and propose a total ban on food altogether…

    Except bacon. They can't ban bacon. And what's wrong with sugar anyway? Food manufacturers hardly make anything any more that actually contains sugar. It's all high fructose corn syrup, dextrose, matlodextrin, sorbital and the like.

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