Just suppose for a moment I wanted to change the name of this here site.

For the sake of argument I'll call it Hard Rumbles.

That wasn't too difficult?  All I have to do now is go into the engine room and change a few letters.  It costs nothing, but I suppose I would have to register a new domain to go with it.  Then my faithful three readers would have to change their bookmarks or their feed or however it is they find me.  And all those who have links to this site would have to change them to the new one.  And I'd probably have to change the design of the site to match the new image.  And I would lose all my Google searches as they would all link to the old site.

So by changing just three letters around I have gone to enormous effort, and to what effect?  Really all I will have done is confuse people without benefiting anyone.

Eircom have done just that.

They are now Eir.

What the fuck?

What kind of non-name is that?  It's what people say while they're thinking up what to say next.  It sounds like that polluted stuff we breath?  It's a semi-silent belch.  It's a lot of things but it's not a name.

And by scribbling out four letters they now have to repaint all their vans.  And the vans now won't match the uniforms so they all have to change too.  Then they have to redecorate all their shops.  Of course they have to have a new web site which will thoroughly confuse everyone.  And all of that is going to cost them €16 million.

Sixteen million fucking yoyos!

Their new logo looks like something I would wipe off the wall after the grandkids had been for a visit.  Come to think of it, it's quite similar to the squiggle I sign on those horrible little screen things so beloved of delivery men these days.  Maybe I should sue them for breach of copyright?

Apparently this is "a major milestone"?  Fucking hell!  Do I detect a whiff of management-speak here?

So where is all this money coming from?  Presumably it's coming from their customers, so that of course means me.  I have to add a bit onto my bill just so they can erase three letters and confuse everyone?

I shall continue to refer to them as that shower of cunts who provide a dodgy phone line.  No change there.

Why the fuck couldn't they have just spent the money running that fibre optic up to the box outside my gate?

Eir my hole.


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What’s in a name? — 17 Comments

  1. Eir?  Why don't they more appositely rename themselves Eerie? I suppose the €16 million splurged on the rebranding will, Er, be passed on to punters in future 'pricing structures'. Er, Eir is getting a bit Eerie innit? I'd like to know what future Bonuses are going to be Eir-ned by whizzkid sales executives in the company. I am so glad I have an account with Vodafone.

  2. The equivalent of approximately 18.1 million dollars to do exactly what now? Oh, spend money uselessly, that's right.

    On another note, I took your hint (in a comment a few posts ago) and actually wrote up a post. Miracles will never cease?

    I may actually do another one–if I can locate my brain. It seems to have run off last night–again.

  3. My immediate thought is that they must be making far too much money if they feel they need to spend that much on a pointless gesture.

    • Land line connections still tend to be more reliable and faster for internet. That said, I'm currently using my mobile as a hotspot for the laptop as I'm away from home, and it works fine. I do get the odd slowdown though, which can be a bit frustrating.

      • Mobile reception here is a bit iffy.  It's one of the miniscule disadvantages of living in the wilds.  Landline is the only way I'm guaranteed [well, for most of the time  anyway] to get a phone  connection.  Luckily I don't rely on either for my Interwebs!

  4. Hi GD off topic I know but what are your thoughts on the Irish Water grant? People are rushing to sign up and claim their 100 euros but I'm thinking there may be long term implications here. Bad implications. Any thoughts?

    • Welcome Theresa!  Damn!  You just missed the post.  Indeed I do have thoughts and most of 'em are bad ones.  Give me a while to think about it.

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