Saint Patty’s Day

Saint Patrick's Day.


It baffles me, this weird world-wide celebration of a bloke who no one knows anything about.  Why the fuck does the world go competely insane on this date and want to be Irish?  On Bastille Day, no one wears a black beret and a string of onions, let alone plays a piano accordion [and in all the times I have been to France, I have never ever heard an accordion being played]?  On Saint George's Day no one gives a shit about the British?  Why the fuck have they picked on us?

What is this worldwide phenomenon that drives people to want to be Irish?  I'm Irish and I don't feel particularly desired, and would quite happily be something else except that I probably would have to speak a different language.  On second thoughts, I wouldn't want to be American – that would be going too far.

What is this business of turning things green across the world?  I'm sure the vast majority will look on those landmarks and wonder why the fuck they have suddenly turned a luminous shade of puke?  Are the people of Rio de Janeiro supposed to look at their statue and get an irresistible urge to pack their bags and head for Ireland?  Will the Egyptians look upon the verdant Pyramids and start saying "begorrah" and "bejayzus"?  I doubt it.

Then of course there is this weird and somewhat nauseating practice of wearing floppy green hats and pretending to be leprechauns.  That one makes me want to vomit.  What the fuck have green floppy hats and leprechauns got to do with being Irish?  And what's this business of inflatable hammers? 

Worst of all are the Mercans who celebrate "Saint Patty's Day" [or Saint Patti’s Day?].  Who the fuck is this Saint Patty / Patti?  I can only assume that the celebrants are moronic dimwits who think they know all about Ireland and the Irish just because they have seen The Quiet Man or Ryan's Daughter.  All I can do is dismiss them as being ignorant trailer trash who have about as much knowledge of Ireland as a penguin at the South Pole.  Fucking idiots.

I shall spend the day doing what I normally do.  Why would I do any different?  I am well aware of my identity and don't particularly want to be reminded of it, though I'm not ashamed of it.

Though I might have an extra few pints tonight.

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Saint Patty’s Day — 19 Comments

  1. It's quite simple really.

    Bastille day, St Georges day, International Womens day and all the rest, are not marketed by Guinnes with little novelty branded toys.

    • I wouldn't mind too much if it were a Guinness thing – ordinary marketing is something I quite understand.  The fact is though that this whole gimmick is a gumbint thing.  Most of our cock-sucking arse-lickers are abroad now fawning up to their elders and betters supposedy "drumming up business for Ireland" while living it up at the tax payers' expense.  It's fucking embarrassing [what other world leader would give a bit of garden weed to a Mekan Pres and get away with it?].   Did you know the tax payer here actually pays to get those landmarks turn green?

      • Oh. Here roundabouts, Paddys day is all about Guinness really, and pubs promoting it via the medium of Guinness. Nobody really cares about Paddys day yet sales of Guinness go through the roof.

  2. its a thing invented by the Americans isn't it this St. Patricks get drunk green everything? One more person asks me why I'm not wearing green though I'm chasing them with a snake.

    • I think they were the ones who started this lark of turning rivers green?  I also heard of some town that changes all its traffic lights to green for the day.  That must be fun?!!

      The only thing that's green around here is the grass outside.  It needs cutting but it's fucking pissing down so it's too wet.  But then that's Ireland?

    • Sweet FUCK!  That is nauseating!  Those fucking green hats are unadulterated embarrassment.  If only they would all spontaneously explode [and take their wearers with them]….  now that would be a sight to see?

  3. What is wrong or objectionable to Ireland being marketed across the world in such an amazingly effective fashion ? not only that but considering the 100 or so million people of Irish decent in these countrys it makes fine sense for them to celebrate a completely innocent day where people dress up and march for an hour in colorful outfits people have fun ireland gets attention and no one gets hurt …

    Theres nothing at all wrong with any of this you  contrary bugger ;p

    • That is the politicians' excuse for their junkets.  If this marketing is so successful then why don't other countries do it? 

      I have no objection whatsoever to people enjoying themselves.  I am just baffled as to why it's such a Big Deal.  I also cringe when I see the Irish portrayed as a load of drink swilling leprechaun lovers.

      • Because they dont have the same level of influence else were i guess its not like anyone is putting a gun to boston or sydneys or londons head and saying have a march you sons of britches its a big deal because it just is i dont know how it got to that point other than theres alot of irish and irish decent types in the main western countrys i find it charming as for the stereotype well that doesn't exists in a bubble  our country does have that issue and the good old politicians will use any excuse .

  4. Always found the least enthusiastic about St. Patrick's Day were the real Irish except maybe when they were abroad. I was once married to a Dublin man and he certainly never bothered about it, don't remember celebrating it once when we were married.

    • Indeed, I have found the same.  Of course it was the Mercans who started all this mad celebration [isn't it always?], and half the parades here in Ireland now seem to feature Mercan bands strutting their stuff.  There also seems to be a regulation that the Boston Police and someone else's Fire Brigade has to feature too.  Weird.

  5. Green also happens  to be the colour of Islam.  Irish-American CIA field operatives in the Middle East should send green leprechauns wearing daft green paddyhats into the souks and mountain caves of the deserts to infiltrate and banjax the islamofascist jihadist groups. As they say in the complaints department of Irish Water: If you can't convince them, confuse 'em.

    • "As they say in the complaints department of Irish Water: If you can't convince them, confuse 'em."  Hah!  Brilliant!!

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