Be still my beating heart

I received another email the other day.

I'm sure you will all be as excited as I was when I realised it was from our good friend Supershadow.

–oOo–
Hello Grandad,
 
It has been some time since our last correspondence. I am in your country at the moment, more precisely Skellig mor.
I have been quite busy here in my capacity as personal assistant to JJ abrams. We are currently working on the last shoots for the new Star Wars movie  of which obviously I am sworn to secrecy.
 
Actually grandad, in a way you are partly responsible for the star wars shoot in skelligs. It was a link of your page which led me to this part of the country and recommended it to a Lucasfilms Pablo dilgado a few years back.
 
But I digress I truly believe we (the jedi council of morm-jordil) have the answers to all the worlds ills. In a future post I may discuss a draft paper we have commissioned called 'Punishless laws – an alternatively to overcrowded prisons'.
 
 Rather than argue verbatim about some of the inappropriateness of some of your posts I have decided to create a table of some of the  posts over the last 7 years , each with an 'inappropriate marker'  and what i believe is the 'appropriate correction'. I hope you will reflect on the below and act (appropriately).
 
Regards,
Mickey Suttle (supershadow)
 
         Link                                                       Inappropriate Marker Correction 
  1. A sad person                                        Adjustment disorder –                                  Role reversal games/See the world from others perspective
  2. Elderly adolescence/Global warming        Circular/Persistent skepticism                     Facilitated reflection/Person values reboot
  3. Out of the shadows                                 State or Government phobia/cynicism               Consensus training / Eureka moment group therapy
  4. Comments or otherwise                           Deceiving civil servants(and boasting about it)        Self esteem calibration/simply smiling in public
  5. Forced freedom                                       Sexism/Misogyny                                              Responsibility therapy/ ego leveling therapy
  6. An immortal grandad                                Inappropriate incredulity/fatalism                         Yoga / Singularity training/ tai chi
  7. where-i-have-been-going-wrong                  Circular/Persistent skepticism          Pulpit/pedestal deconstruction therapy/Train the trainer/Facilitated reflection

–oOo–

There are several things that really impressed me about this scripture message.

The first was of course that he had taken time off from his hectic schedule to pen this, and it is obvious that he has taken some time and effort.

Then there was the fact that there is obviously Interweb access from Skellig Mór, which as some of you may know is just a rock off the west coast of Ireland.  How come I can't get access to the Interweb while on my holidays while he has access on a fucking rock?

I am awfully disappointed to hear that he is sworn to secrecy as of course I haven't had a wink of sleep since they started filming there.  My curiosity knows no bounds but maybe that's because I couldn't give a flying fuck? I was interested to see a report on the news though when a boat containing reporters was barred from entering a three mile exclusion zone.  What was worse, they were barred by the Irish fucking Navy!  I didn't know our navy was up for hire?  I wonder if they are available for weddings or funerals?

I was extremely flattered and honoured that my wee site influenced the filming location though.  You can all think of me when you don't go to see the film when it's released?

I am rather confused by all his links.  He has obviously gone to a lot of trouble reading all 2,922 posts going back several years.  Or maybe he just searched for posts about himself? Could he be so egotistical?  Nah!.

Now I need your help.

Can anyone explain to me what "pedestal deconstruction" is?  Something to do with demolishing statues?  Or "facilitated reflection"?  Someone holding a mirror for me?  I know what "Eureka" and "self esteem" are but some of the others are a little baffling.

He is determined to set me on the straight and narrow path to righteousness, and I am truly touched by all his efforts on my behalf.

Am I the only one who is touched?

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Comments

Be still my beating heart — 16 Comments

  1. You ask "Am I the only one who is touched?".

     

    My opinion is that the only one touched is he himself — "Touched in the head".

  2. How come I can't get access to the Interweb while on my holidays while he has access on a fucking rock?

    Seeing as how he must be loaded, it could be an easily transportable satellite broadband setup. Or he might have a high gain directional antenna and has found an un-encrypted WiFi connection on the mainland… You can also get internet connectivity with Iridium mobile phones, but that is very slow and hideously expensive. And there is always the possibiity his "master" has a luxury ocean going yacht or boat with an Inmarsat link.

    Most things are possible with enough Wonga…

  3. Supershadow is most likely a 19 year old kid sitting in either his underwear or maybe a Darth Vader costume commenting like he does on a few different web sites.  He's an un-educated moron who is probably popping his anti-depressants along with some beer.  I find his writings rambling and disassociative.

  4. So you were responsible for the location of some of the new Star Wars movie?

    Gosh (slightly breathlessly), can I have your autograph, GD?

    You should be grateful that you have such a dedicated acolyte, GD, rather than us grumpy old men who mostly just take the piss don't give your utterances the gravity they deserve. Devotees like that are hard come by. Take him under your wing, teach him the dark arts of Grandadism, liberate his soul! Darth Vader will be forever in your debt!

  5. I must say I am somewhat saddened by the rather cynical attitude of the comments above.  Only Nisakiman seems to appreciate the true nature of Supershadow and his relationship with the Morm Whatsits.  Yiz will all get what's comming when The Great Day arrives.

    Grandadism?  I like it.  A new cult is born…..  😈

  6. Grandad,

    That guy is not Supershadow at all, he is an impostor who has obviously hacked Supershadow's account. Supershadow would never have written mór without a fada over the 'o'. A primary school aged child would not have made that mistake; anyone who has the knowledge he claims could not have possibly done so.

    I think you should tell Supershadow that he has been hacked.

    • This could be one of the great mysteries of the Universe.  Is Supershadow omnipresent, or is he a multiple sungularity?  Can one so high in the spiritual plane even have an imposter?  We don't know.

      I have surmised before that his intellect is above such minor irritations as spelling and punctuation.

      Or maybe he just didn't know how to plonk a fada on the 'o' on his keyboard?

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