Back to the hundreds

OK, so I'm back.

I'm back to about five hundred emails which I have to trawl through to see if any are important.

I'm back to over three hundred items in my feed reader [sorry Lads, but I ain't gonna read 'em all].

I see I'm back to over a hundred comments on my last post.  Thanks, Brianf and everyone else! 

I'm back to a kettle that takes less than half an hour to boil and that isn't attached to the wall by a six inch length of flex.

I'm back to a toaster that doesn't ignore one side of slice of bread while incinerating the other side.

I'm back to a chair that is nicely arse-shaped and that doesn't cripple me if I sit for more than five minutes.

In case anyone is wondering [which I know you’re not] I did actually have access to the Interweb.  All the local towns and cafés seemed to have free wi-fi but I just didn't feel like lugging a laptop around with me.  I tried connecting using my mobile phone thingy, but it took about half an hour to load one fucking page, and the keyboard is about an inch wide, so I wasn't going to waste my precious holiday playing around with that.

What did I do then, you ask?

I took a ton of photographs [well… 95 to be exact].  I did a bit of driving around and visiting the local pubs, cafés and other assorted destinations.  I ate out quite a lot.  Mainly though I just sat and enjoyed the sun, the tranquility and the scenery.

And I read.

I mentioned before how it had taken me about six months to get half way through Stephen King's "Black House".  I finished that and then read another couple of books –

Holiday Reading

I finally ran out of reading matter so in the end I took the ultimate solution and carried on writing my own.

The only problem was that it was very hot out; too hot to do any typing so that little task was confined to late evenings.

There were also a few wildlife distractions –

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Comments

Back to the hundreds — 17 Comments

    • Brilliant thanks.  The only problem now is that I'm so knackered from the packing and driving that I need a holiday.

    • *sigh* And how are you supposed to tell?  I confess I didn't actually approach the creature and ask for a means of identification, but I maintain he was a dolphin.  There again it may have been a she, so are you going to be pedantic about that too?

    • Thanks and congratulations on whipping up the hundred comments!  😀

      Actually there were a few that went into moderation for some unknown reason so you passed the mark comfortably.

  1. Glad to hear that you had a good time.   I noticed that some of my 'replies' went into 'moderation'.   Was I such a naughty boy?

     

    By the way did you hear about this?

    There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

    The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

  2. Since we are still writing jokes

     

    The aquarium was trying to breed their pair of porpoises, but they just were not interested in each other. After much research, it was found that their diet lacked certain very rare minerals and vitamins. The only known source was seagulls. In fact only newly hatched seagulls could provide the missing mineral and vitamins. When feed a diet of the birds, the porpoises began having intercourse almost immediately. The affect was temporary and they realized they need a stead supply. The aquarium was not near the sea shore. It was was several states away, but a biologist was assigned to travel each week to the seashore to collect the birds. 

    On his last trip he was arrest and charged with transporting young gulls across state lines for immoral porpoises. 

  3. "There were also a few wildlife distractions -"  dancing spiders, bat droppings on the car bonnet, bullfrog croakings late night, sneezing dolphins affected by the plug tobacco…

    and don't tell the surprise endings to those Dan Brown novels.

    • Our wildlife was fairly benign.  There were seals just off the rocks beside the house, a cuckoo that sang every day on the island [it's incredible how sound carries across water] and a cat that really pissed Penny off. 

      I won't tell on the Dan Brown novels and how they end – I have forgotten already.

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