Backwards or forwards

There was a little "discussion" down the pub last night.

A while ago, Pullit bought another clock for the bar.  There was nothing wrong with the old one which still hangs over the fireplace telling the time accurately ten minutes fast as all pub clocks should do, but Pullit decided to put another one up on the opposite wall, just for the laugh.

You see, the new clock is one of those ones that goes backwards.  It is as accurate as any other clock, but it takes a little getting used to as the hands travel in the opposite direction to the usual.

Backwards clock

Last night I casually asked no one in particular which way did the hands move on the new clock.  Did they move clockwise or anticlockwise?

I didn't mean to start a fight [well, maybe I did] but quite a heated debate ensued.  On one side, Stoney, Sherrif and the vicar's wife [don’t know what she was doing there?] maintained that the hands went anticlockwise because they moved from right to left.  On the other side, Spanner and I pointed out that "clockwise" is defined by the way the hands rotate on a clock and therefore it didn't matter which way the hands moved, as their movement inherently defined their direction as clockwise.  Pullit refused to be drawn in and just maintained that it was his fucking clock in his fucking bar and he didn't give a fuck which way the hands went provided they told the fucking time.

Quite a few patrons got drawn into the "discussion" and things got a little out of hand.  In the end, Pullit took down the clock and threw us all out.


I still maintain those hands go clockwise though.

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Backwards or forwards — 27 Comments

  1. Sweden calling. We don´t use the clock in this way. We look beyond that little thing and goes higher and more powerful. We use the sun. We say "medsols" (clockwise) and "motsols" (anticlockwise). That means we go with the sun or against it. Against is not correct word I think but you get the picture. 

    The only thing good about this swedish way of doing things is that we don´t get thrown out from the pub if there is a strange clock on the wall.

    If the sun starts acting in a strange way I think nobody cares. We´ll be dead.

    "Have it good" as we say in Sweden.

    PS. Today, 30 of april, it´s a big time drinking day in Sweden. That plus a hell of a lot of bonfires make me sure I will have forgotten most of this posting tomorrow. Bye, bye!



    • That is all very well, but we only see the sun on rare occasions here.  Would the same method work with rain clouds?

      P.S. Who cares what day it is here in Ireland – it's always a good drinking day……

  2. Where the fuck did you get the money to go to the pub.It would be more in your line to pay your water bill and not to be pissing it away enjoying yourself.

    • Where I get my money from is between me, my conscience and my solicitor, and I ain't talking.  And I have every intention of pissing away my water bills.

  3. Ooh, did it turn into a full on bar brawl?

    I've been involved in a couple of those (don't ask me how – I'm not and never have been a violent drunk), once in Maidenhead, Berks, and once in Port Cambell, South Australia. Both times I ended up in a police cell with a very sore head.

    Both probably started with some smartass saying something about clockwise clocks, I dunno.

    All I remember was chairs getting used as weapons (not actually very efficient, but visually spectacular), people (including me) getting thrown over the bar and bottles and glasses getting smashed in a very satisfactory fashion. In retrospect, it was all pretty fucking stupid, and it was fortunate nobody got seriously hurt, but it seemed like the right thing at the time. The testosterone was running strongly back then.

    I also used to drink quite a lot when I was young, which led, sometimes, to unforeseen consequences.

    • As a young lad I used to get drunk quite often too.  But you know what they say – practice makes perfect.  I wouldn't call it a fully fledged bar brawl as there wasn't much blood spilt. It was more just a little spat between friends. 

    • I have only been arrested once. I was charged with "Being drunk in charge of a stolen boat". How was I to know that one of the ship's stewards was steering the boat as it rammed the lighthouse at full speed? As I was the only Officer on board I had to take the Rap. Being Christmas eve however, they locked the crew members in the cells and I was marched across the road to be incarcerated in a bar with the police. And that became an expensive night, even though this was the 60's and the Seychelles at that time only had a police force of two.

      • That's a bit harsh?  Why wasn't the lighthouse keeper charged with causing an obstruction?  I would appeal that conviction if I were you.

        Mind you – The Seychelles at Christmas sounds like a grand idea.  If you decide to appeal, I can come as your legal advisor….?

  4. I have been looking at my digital clock for ages and I can't see which way the hands move. Obviously I haven't drunk enough yet.

    • If you drink enough, then it doesn't matter a damn.  Unless of course you were there the other night in the pub?

  5. Did the pub owner place the reverse clock on the wall to test the sobriety/inebriation of late evening customers?

    In Australia they sell special Up Above maps of the world showing Australia at the top of the globe and North America & Europe at the bottom. Australians can thereby get cultural revenge by calling the UK Down Under. Puts pommies in their place like. I think pubs should display the Up Above map so that late evening customers looking a bit over the limit could be invited to stand on their heads and find Australia.

    • God knows why he did it.  A talking point?  A sobriety test?  A cause for a good fight?  I like the idea of an upside down map though – confuse the hell out of any tourists?

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