I am really pissed off.
I keep getting calls on the phone from the same number. When I answer it I hear a crackly line for a few seconds and then they hang up.
What really pisses me off about this is not so much the calling, though that can be fucking irritating depending on what they are interrupting, so much as the silence.
I did a wee search on the Interwebby for the number that calls and this is apparently a well known number which is used by those fucking “we are ringing on behalf of Microsoft” cunts.
So why won’t they talk to me? Why won’t they try their little scam? Have I offended them in some way?
When I go to the phone to answer it and I see that number my heart lifts. Time for a bit of fun. Time to play their little games and fuck with their heads. But they won’t play along. They won’t talk to me any more.
I have a variety of games I want to play with them. There is the good old trick of playing along with them, telling them that I do everything they ask when in fact I’m just sitting there laughing at them.
Then there is the line that I am on Europe’s Ten Most Wanted list and that I think my phone may be tapped.
Or I can string them along for a few minutes before announcing that I have just hacked into their computer and it is now infected with a deadly virus.
Or I can just ask them to hold the line, whereupon I go off to the pub.
But I can’t try any of those if the won’t talk to me.
I long for that foreign barely comprehensible voice asking me if I am at my computer.
Talk to me.