I am really pissed off.


I keep getting calls on the phone from the same number.  When I answer it I hear a crackly line for a few seconds and then they hang up.

What really pisses me off about this is not so much the calling, though that can be fucking irritating depending on what they are interrupting, so much as the silence.

I did a wee search on the Interwebby for the number that calls and this is apparently a well known number which is used by those fucking “we are ringing on behalf of Microsoft” cunts.

So why won’t they talk to me?  Why won’t they try their little scam?  Have I offended them in some way?

When I go to the phone to answer it and I see that number my heart lifts.  Time for a bit of fun.  Time to play their little games and fuck with their heads.  But they won’t play along.  They won’t talk to me any more.

I have a variety of games I want to play with them.  There is the good old trick of playing along with them, telling them that I do everything they ask when in fact I’m just sitting there laughing at them. 

Then there is the line that I am on Europe’s Ten Most Wanted list and that I think my phone may be tapped.

Or I can string them along for a few minutes before announcing that I have just hacked into their computer and it is now infected with a deadly virus.

Or I can just ask them to hold the line, whereupon I go off to the pub.

But I can’t try any of those if the won’t talk to me.

I long for that foreign barely comprehensible voice asking me if I am at my computer.

Talk to me.


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002011772013 — 10 Comments

  1. I got my Truecall box 6 months ago and cold calls are a thing of the past. From five a day on average down to zero… You don't realise how many irritating calls you get until it stops; can't say I miss them though.

    • Surely I could get the same effect by just unplugging my phone?  A lot cheaper?  But then I wouldn't have anything to write about……. 😐

  2. My Nephew had a great game with the MicroSoft baddies too. He pretended to be a very old and half deaf man and had an hour of pure joy as they tried to help him. He told them he was getting by on his Lotto winnings in the course of it too and he loved his new typewriter with the TV attached to it. So when it came to sending them money he told them that he'd be delighted to have their support but he said that he didn't understand credit cards and paid all his bills bang on time by cheque instead. Asking for an address, they gave him 344 Something-Strasse in Holland somewhere and he promised to post the cheque the next day when he was collecting his pension.


    Three weeks later, they back on feigning surprise that they hadn't got his cheque but he pleaded that indeed he'd sent it three weeks before as arranged. The punchline was when he read out the address to them as 244 Something-Strasse and the line went dead.

    • The "old duffer" is a great one.  I tried that and kept apologising for clicking the wrong button causing the PC to reboot all the time.  I kept asking him to wait and muttered incessantly about how crap Windows was.  He got pissed off in the end and hung up.

      Just talking to a neighbour – she tells 'em she works in Microsoft and asks to meet them for coffee. 😀

  3. I have had a lot of fun ,depends whether male or female but he result is hte same.

    Female , lead along for a while , and then throw in , in my seediest voice I can come up withj , " I bet you have lovely breasts,he he" Often they ask me to repaet myslf as i fhtey can't belive what htey heard.

    Male:, but , " Ooh ,I am getting a hard penis just talking to you, please keep taking , oooh ahhh "


    For some reason they hang up on me. 

    • Ah here now… I wouldn't go that far.  These idiots who phone are only doing a job – the real criminals are their employers.  I wouldn't insult them, just fuck with their heads.   

  4. I had the same problem with a society who were "partners of EDF"   (EDF = Electricité de France).   After more than 40 calls in 2 months (each one logged) I went to the Gendarmes and made a complaint that they were hassling me.  They contacted them and were told that my number was on their automatic computer and that they could not remove it.   I thought that the Gendarme was going to 'blow-up'.   He told them in no uncertain terms that if I received one more call from them that they would be before the Judge.

    Strangely, I have received no more calls.

  5. 002011772013. This chap is at it again. +20 Egypt (0)11 Etisalat Phone company, based in Cairo. You can scare the crap out of him by telling him this stuff. He is using international calling cards, his phone is prepaid and I think registered, I have sent a request to Etisalat for his information which I will forward regardless to the National Telecommunication Authority of Egypt also in Cairo. You can call Etisalat at 0020-23-534-6333 (a landline) and complain and/or make an additional complaint to NTRA Egypt at 0020-23-534-4000 (also a landline). I hear Egyptian prison is lovely this time of year.

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