Will someone please tell me what this Feng Shway lark is all about?
Herself met up with her friends in the Coven down at the coffee shop the other day and ever since, she has been rabbiting on about it.
She keeps waffling on about “flows of energy” or some such shite and wants all sorts of changes made around the place.
Apparently our front door is on the wrong side of the house. I pointed out that if it wasn’t at the front of the house it wouldn’t be a front door anymore but apparently logic doesn’t work with Feng Shway.
She says my favourite armchair is obstructing some fucking flow of energy and wants it moved out into the yard. If she tries that, there will be a flow of energy all right and it will be aimed at her.
She has been wandering from room to room muttering dark incantations about Good Feng Shway and Bad Feng Shway and she is doing my head in. It seems that some rooms are good and others are bad. I can’t see any difference, but Feng Shway says otherwise. I told her that she only has to stay out of the bad rooms [whatever “bad” means] but that isn’t good enough. The “balance” is all wrong. Things have to “flow”.
She has even suggested that the house is all wrong and that it really should be pulled down and rebuilt. That’s a fucking non-runner. The house has stood here for the last couple of hundred years and it ain’t moving now.
I got tired of it in the end, chucked her out and locked the doors.
Immediately there was a peaceful flow of energy through the house.
Maybe there is something to this Feng Shway after all?