Rampant fertility

I assume you all had sleepless nights after my little game yesterday?

I’ll come to that in a minute.

One of the big problems I have here at The Manor is that the ground is incredibly fertile.  Everything grows like the clappers and the vast majority of the plants are where they shouldn’t be.

The worst offenders are ivy, nettles and brambles.  Those fucking brambles are the bane of my life.  They are everywhere, filling every spare corner and climbing the trees so that a few trees are more bramble than tree.  I have spent the summer stripping them back and massacring them but they are still everywhere.   The ivy is much the same and I spend my days stripping the fucking stuff off trees and walls.

There used to be a small bed of raspberries that I dug up years ago.  Now I have fucking raspberry plants appearing everywhere, even in the middle of the lawn.

Someone once planted miniature cyclamen too.  They are running rampant and most of them just get mowed when I do the lawns.  There are still loads though peering up through the ivy, the brambles and the honeysuckle [which also grows all over the place].

cyclamen

Cyclamen_detail

And so we come to the mystery photograph.

A couple of days ago I wandered into a quiet part of the acreage and found a new addition to the list of intruders.

These little fuckers were all over the place -

original
Click on any of the above to embiggen,

Yup.  That’s my mystery photograph in all its weirdness.

When I first found them there were dozens growing in groups.  Now there are hundreds.

I haven’t a clue what they are apart from the obvious, that they are some sort of fungus/mushroom/toadstool.  I haven’t decided what to do with them yet.

I may fry some up and feed them to Herself to see the effects?

That could be interesting? 

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Comments

Rampant fertility — 44 Comments

    • They actually look like they might explode if you touch one of the little tits.  You think they could be fatal?  I could still feed 'em to a couple of other people I know.  I could claim innocence at the trial.

  1. Guess I am getting old. I find your new format confusing to follow. Need a space or a heavy line between one comment and your reply; and the next comment and your reply. To me they all tend to merge. Not mushroom inside.

    • It's an age thing.  I find it a little confusing too.  However I did want the "nesting" thing as it makes it easier to follow responses to individual comments.  The theme is a wee bit lacking when it comes to formatting the comment area, but I do intend to try at least to smarten it a bit.  Give us a chance.  It's all new to me too!

    • What a whinger.

      Just testing the reply view  :) 

      Wonder how comes my Irish flag doesn't appear anymore either?

      Probably that vodafone shower.. are they based out in Tezbeckistan or something?

      You garden looks lovely by the way GD..   I completely understand your dilemma too.. no matter how much I trim me bushes, they're always back in no time at all.  haaa.

      • No idea why you don't have a flag.  Are you in orbit?

        "no matter how much I trim me bushes"  Being a thorough gentleman, I shall refrain from comment.

        • No on another planet I think..

          Anyways bushes have been sorted recently by the farting/snoring oaf with his head shaver. 

          T'was great fun for him trimming the bushes.  He was proud of his work and the end result.   

           

           

            • Of which, the end result (I was asked about designs even)  or him doing the trimming?  Too cute with the tongue hanging out concentrating.   

              Come to think of it, that's not a bad idea for one of those icons/gravatars GD.

              Good thinking outta you.

               

    • Tempting!  Could be the start of a whole new industry.  And the anti-smoker laws wouldn't apply as they are all about tobacco?

  2. Never in a million years would have guessed mushroom.  Fascinating little buggers.  It is about this time of year when you can spot puff ball fungi in our local woods.  They become the size of basketballs, and they're more brownish. Those look about as big as the palm of your hand, amright?

    • Nah!  Little tiddlers.  The middle one in the photograph would be less than one and a half inches end to end.  What they lack in size they make up for in quantity.

  3. And there was me thinking it was a bobbly jumper, oh well there u go.

    Must admit though Grandad, fascinating little buggers, never seen them before.

  4. I do believe that they're actually edible – but don't quote me on that. I'd hate to be responsible for anybody's early demise. Apart from the Dreadful Arnott, that is.

     

    I've got a book on fungi tucked away amongst the volumes on my bookshelves. I'll try to locate it and see if they're edible or incredible.

    Or poisonous.

    • As an experiment I mixed some into the dinner and gave herself a portion.  It's the first time I have ever seen someone actually walk across the ceiling.

  5. I can get you some Magic Mushrooms GD if I can stop my cat eating them.

    The bugger knows what they look like, where to find them and he is regularly found in the back garden, four paws in the air, tongue hanging out and groaning, lying there in the rain out of his brain on the things.

      • That is true, a fungus is neither a fruit nor a vegetable. It is actually closer to being an animal than a plant, but the mushroom part is still the fruit of the fungus, and you can buy mushrooms in those Greengrocer places (so I am informed anyway). Therefore, I'm calling for a mistrial, your honor.

        • Tell ya what…  Go into your local greengrocer and ask him if he has puff-balls [documentary evidence required] and I will concede your point.

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