The cause of cancer

They have produced yet another “study”!

*sigh*

This one is different though.

According to all the other “studies” we smoke too much, eat too much, drink too much and generally enjoy ourselves too much.

This one however is focussing on something we don’t do enough of.

Exercise.

Apparently half of us Irish don’t get enough of it. [cue for smutty comments?]

So what is the yardstick for this “study”?

Inactivity was defined as not meeting any of three criteria: 30 minutes of moderate activity such as a brisk walk, at least five days a week; 20 minutes of vigorous activity at least three days a week; or an equivalent combination of the two.”

Now I don’t take a 30 minute brisk walk at least five days a week, nor do I do 20 minutes of vigorous activity at least three times a week [unless of course Yer Wan down the hairdressers is feeling frisky].  So despite the fact that I do plenty other activities that bring me out in a sweat and leave me knackered, I apparently don’t take enough exercise.

And of course we all know what all this inactivity causes?  Yes!  You’ve guessed it!  CANCER!

So here is a new law to add to Grandad’s Law.  I don’t have a name for it yet [Dimwit’s Law?] but it states that “anything and everything a gubmint disapproves of causes cancer”.

I can’t wait to see how the various gubmints are going to force us by law or taxes to take more exercise, but doubtless they’ll find a way.

But at least I have finally discovered the cause of all cancers.

That should be worth a Nobel Prize or two?

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Comments

The cause of cancer — 11 Comments

  1. John – That “probiotics” business confuses me.  I know the idea is to introduce “friendly bacteria” but if we live normal lives and eat normal things why should we need them?  Just steer clear of antibiotics!

  2. And the “friendly bacteria” are to be alive when we ingest, what??????  Antibiotics, causing the formation of super, antibiotic resistant bugs, great.  I knew there was a conspiracy by the “gubmint” to not only dumb us down but also to reduce the “thinking” population, crap!

  3. Exercise??? Hilarious! I have a friend, in his early 50’s who has never smoked, never drank alcohol and is most certainly NOT a chocoholic. He works on the roads so he’s as fit as an Irish fiddle but has just been diagnosed with bowel cancer!
    He is demanding answers from his Dr & local hospital but none are forthcoming and that is because this one comes under “SODS LAW”.
    An article Monday stated that 100,000 people every year die from smoking (not smoke related diseases, just smoking!) so I asked the author what the other 400,000 die from every year? There is yet to be response. I asked another medical maniac why people who don’t smoke get cancer-again, no answer as yet!
    I suppose if exercise was mandatory, older people would die quicker thus save the state a fortune in pensions etc!

  4. Apparently inactivity has now almost become a pandemic!!
     
    FFS – who invents this shit?
     
    Co-author Dr I-Min Lee that’s who.
    Says it all really.

  5. Welcome Phil! – I have my own stories too [don't we all?].  A friend who was a commercial airline pilot.  Never smoked.  A social drinker.  Fit as a fiddle.  Died of cancer.  The fact that they will not admit is that they haven’t a fucking clue what causes cancer, and because it is a convenient Bogeyman, they will blame anything they don’t like us doing.  Smoking? Cancer.  Sugar?  Cancer.  Salt? Cancer.  Lack of exercise?  Cancer.  Voting for the opposition?  Cancer.

    Mossy – Don’t tell me you haven;t heard of Secondhand Laziness?  These evil lazy fuckers sit down, and we feel compelled to sit beside them.  It’s terrible I know, but it is indeed a pandemic.

  6. Break through study, living is fatal. We all will die. The is a guaranteed way to bring the death rate down to zero, kill everyone now. Once everyone is dead, no one else will die.

  7. So very sorry – I completely forgot about Secondhand Laziness.



    Must find someone to sit on my sofa tonight so I can use her (wishful thinking) as an excuse.

  8. Jim C – If we all ended up living as the Righteous intend, it would be such a joyless place that frankly I would embrace euthanasia more than willingly.

  9. Interestingly, and regardless of what the health facists tell us… most of the worlds oldest people are smokers. Add to this the fact that the only two people to have 120 candles on their birthday cakes were both lifelong smokers… it makes you think that there’s something fishy going on at tobacco control headquarters!?

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