A French blowjob

There have been a few mentions over the weekend about the breathalyser and France.

Apparently any visitor intending to drive in France must now be equipped with a breathalyser.

Why?

Whichever way I look at this, it’s a damned strange law. 

If I am a lifelong teetotaller, I still have to carry one of these devices around with me?  It would be more sensible to permanently carry a crutch in my car in case I should break a leg.  After all, I am more likely to break a leg than I am to take a drink.

If I am a raving alcoholic I still carry my own personal breathalyser, but it won’t stop me from driving.  If I am stopped while five times over the limit, are they just going to check that I have my kit and then let me continue on my bleary erratic way?  I doubt it.

It would make a sort of sense if the device were somehow wired into my car that I would have to blow into it to start the vehicle.   But then all I have to do is ask my passenger [or some passing pedestrian] to have a puff to send me on my way.  That would however open an interesting can of worms – how many people would have the neck to stop a total stranger and ask them for a blowjob?  How many pedestrians would oblige in an unexpected but totally pleasurable way?

I presume the logic here is that I go for my few pints of bierre and then blow into one of my own devices?  But surely in my semi-inebriated state I will adopt a fuck-it attitude, claim the device is faulty and then carry on as before?

As I said – I’m confused.

I suppose the next thing is that we will all be compelled by law to carry is our own wheel-clamp?

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUponDigg thisPin on PinterestShare on RedditShare on Tumblr

Comments

A French blowjob — 12 Comments

  1. Sounds like a reasonable use to me?

    I was just pondering upon which instruments of our own torture are going to be next of the “compulsory” list.  Speed radars so we can trap ourselves?

  2. How about the “Orgasmeter”, on a chip and inserted up the ass of every registered voter. Like a smartphone, it would an internet device, spilling the beans every time you woke in the bed with a “morning glory”. It would measure length and intensity of each orgasm sending a number over IP which would correspond to your Euro fine. Lone rangers already know it makes you blind, so fine the fuckers for it.

    They could refund you if your wife gets pregnant too, and think of all that saved energy that people could turn to the economy instead !

    Mind you, at the time of actual insertion of the chip, the medical community may have to get the heads of some high profile people out of their arises first. 

  3. Anyone coming over to France this summer need have no worries as you have until Nov 1st before any fines are made for not carrying an Ethylotest.
    In fact there is a great shortage of test kits.    My pharmacie has been waiting for over a month and non of the other pharmacies have had kits for weeks.
    Typical governmental planning.   Mental describes the guvmint exactly.

  4. Grandad,

    It is just the natural progression of taxing the things we like, isn’t it. You like a smoke, you like a drink and wham, on go the taxes. You enjoy your time under your own roof, and wham bam, you’re penalized for owning it. Taxing the sex lad, has to come, if you’ll excuse the expression.

  5. A Grandad – Unfortunately I shall not be gracing your shores this year [you may stand down the army] either before or after November.  Next year?  Who knows?  But by then I will have forgotten to buy the damned thing.  Anyhow, Irish Ferries were bleating about how they have tons of the things on thieir ferries.  And it goes without saying that there are few governments who could find their way out of a paper bag.

  6. GD, not much chance of you getting that French blowjob if you’re not going anytime soon GD.  Irish one will have to keep ya going for now.  :)

  7. Cardi – These days in Ireland, if you leave your house in the morning and manage to get home that night without being fucked or screwed, you got lucky.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>