World Earth Day

Today is World Earth Day.

How cuddly tree huggingly sweet.

I had to look up the Interwebs to find out precisely what the fuck this is about.

Apparently it is to “help Mobilize the Earth”.  What?  What in the name of all that’s holy does that mean?  It must mean something because they have actually trademarked the words “Mobilize the Earth”.  Yup – they even got the spelling wrong in their fucking trademark.

I delved further into the mysteries of this “event” and found what I am supposed to be doing.  I am supposed to be organising “meetings” or attending “events”.  Actually, I can do that.  I’ll organise a few of us to meet in the pub tonight and call it a drinking event.  But I have a nasty sneaking suspicion that this isn’t quite what they had in mind.  We would have to “voice our appreciation for the planet”. 

This is getting nauseous.

My problem is that any time I hear any of this bullshit, a nasty vision comes to mind.  I have visions of rooms full of clones of our very own Duncan Stewart.

duncan and car
Duncan with his brand new eco-friendly sustainable car.

Now some may ask who Duncan Stewart is?  Our Duncan is an eco-friendly sustainable renewable gobshite who appears much too regularly in our television programmes.  He is incapable of making a simple statement without whispering some tree-hugging green platitude or other.  I intend one day to see just how renewable he is, just as soon as I can drop a very eco-unfriendly concrete block on him.

I see there are a few events planned in Ireland.  One is outside Cork in Carraigtwohill.  It seems to be mainly quizzes and prizes [guess the subject matter of the quizzes!].  They are expecting up to 500 people and I hope it stays fine for them [so far, number of people signed up… zero].  There are a couple planned for Dublin as well, mostly involving water for some reason.  They are slightly less ambitious in Dublin with expectations of 200.  No one has signed up for that either.  Heh!

I do wish these people would go away.  If every sinner in this country suddenly switched to living in mud-huts lit by CFL bulbs, powered by a windmill in the back garden it would do sweet fuck all for the world.  It certainly wouldn’t “mobilize” it.

It would just mean that we would all be miserable in our mud huts.

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Comments

World Earth Day — 19 Comments

  1. I don’t recycle.  Glass, plastic, paper and garbage all goes into the same bag that goes in the dumpster and then gets taken away to the landfill.  I drive a big ass Ford Explorer SUV.  I use 100W light bulbs and I get my electricity from a coal-fired power plant.  Earth day Schmirth day!
     

  2. I’m doing my bit!!! ……………… FOR MY FUCKING SELF!!!!!!
    And what can Duncan say to the likes of people such as myself who are under severe financial stress at the moment? People like myself who can’t afford a bin service and have to burn their paper, cardboard packaging and food waste in the fire while dumping the rest in public litter bins? I’m pretty sure that there’s a lot more people besides myself at it. Now that I think of it; seeing as it’s the day that’s in it, I think I’ll set aside my waste plastic packaging specially for the fire later and burn it in honour of Duncan and the treehugging brigade.
    I mean, what’s next?! Would it be helpful if everyone in the country had their holes stitched or corked for one day in order reduce greenhouse gasses? It’d be more in line if Duncan did it, then at least he mightn’t spout so much shite and save our ears instead. It’d be more in everyone’s interest if he did something more constructive for everyone by driving off the Cliffs of Moher
    There. That’s my anger at that fucking bellend vented :)
    To paraphrase Jim Royle – “World Earth Day my arse!!”

  3. Cat – Pints by candlelight eh?  I could drink to that. 

    InisEanna – I get the distinct impression that you are not to fond of Our Duncan either?  As for the hole corking idea, I would advise against that as it is always extremely risky to tamper with a Pressure Release Valve.  Mind you, I’d say Duncan would go off with a great bang.  He certainly contains enough hot air. 

  4. Jasus, GD, where is it? the pub, drinks, fucking nutters having a go at the world, can’t wait, as long as Dunkin fuckin Donut ain’t there…..and tt

  5. Fuck that, Quiet Reader. We took the Pledge in school and we all began drinking then too. They’ll get over it or end up running their representative countries, Jesus help us.

  6. In honor of earth day I’m going to put a wind tower (the 425 foot model), a large compost pile, solar panels, a condenser setup (for dragging water out of the air) and a bio-diesel making setup in my yard. I’m also going to dig and camouflage a good size lime pit in whatever space that’s left for those eco type people who bother me more than once (lime is much faster than compost when it comes to dissolving bodies you know). By the time I get all that built then there won’t be enough yard left to mow.
    I’m sure my neighbors will appreciate the fact that I’m doing my part to…uh…mobilize the earth. I’m also sure they will appreciate the view out their windows that happen to be facing my newly constructed yard.

  7. tt – You’ll be sacrificing a kitten to Gaia then?

    Jan M – Fucking hell!! That is revolting.  I would nearly watch Spongebob and that is really saying something.

    Slab – The pub in the village.  Surely you know where I live?  Bring a few bob as it could be a long session.  In fact, it will be a long session.  Heh!

    Quiet Reader – Will you PLEASE put a health warning on these things?  I go as far as the little English brat screeching about her rights being violated and switched off.  There is only so much insanity I can take.

    Kirk M – Couldn’t agree more about the quick lime.  Fantastic stuff.  I take then that you’ll be using up the space where I was to build?

  8. Grandad – No worries there. I kept that space clear. Just make sure to stay on the walkway that leads from the front door to the road and you’ll be safe enough. I also had the forethought to make the walkway retractable for those times when you want peace and quiet with no interruptions. Except for the occasional screams from those who fall into the lime pit of course.

  9. I’m still trying to get over ‘Blacken The World’ night, or whatever it was called. You remember it, right? We were all supposed to turn off our lights and stand around with bio-degradable candles up our jacksies.

    These green bastards have to be exterminated!

  10. Jan M – Fuck but that is revolting!  Pure unadulterated propaganda.

    This is more than a colouring book. Children are invited to colour existing pictures, but also to add to them. An empty road needs filling with environment-friendly modes of transport and the mayor needs help designing a poster for an Ecolabel conference!

    How can our gubmint justify being a part of this shite?

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