Name calling

Sometimes people give their children the strangest names.

Sometimes they will use a name that in itself isn’t too bad, but when mixed with the Surname can cause certain problems.  Mike Hunt?  Or how about a chap I used to know – William Anker?  [think about it…].  What I am really on about here is the actual names themselves.

Of course the names that spring to mind are those handed out by those brain-dead amoebas, the Beckhams –Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper.  I was going to say that those kids will have a terrible time with their names in later life, but seeing as they will have inherited their parent’s intelligence it probably won’t occur to them that there is anything even slightly strange about their names.

Then of course there was that poor child who was dumped on with the name “Talula Does The Hula from Hawaii”.  I think they were forced in the end to change that?

There is a thought that has crossed my mind though.

As far as I am aware, there is no law in any land to prevent people handing out whatever names they like to their sprogs?  So why can’t people be a little more imaginative and give their children a name that will actually give the child a wee head start in life?

“I hereby name this child ‘Doctor John’”

Going through life with a name like Doctor could be a huge advantage.  It would certainly be impressive at the top of a resume?

Or how about Professor?  Even better!

I can only think of one disadvantage to this scheme and that is that the child can never really progress to the higher echelons of academia.

After all, Doctor Doctor would be a bit of a mouthful?

But not quite as bad as Professor Professor.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUponDigg thisPin on PinterestShare on RedditShare on Tumblr

Comments

Name calling — 28 Comments

  1. I went to high school with Bill Bader.  We called him Master.
    I worked with Leonard Leonard
    and lastly I was once introduced to a US Air Force Captain named Dick Head.  For real!  He was introduced to me with a straight face and it took all within me not to laugh out loud.
     

  2. don’t get me started on weird named kids
    I went to an all-irish school and some basket-case gaelgoirs thought it’d be fun to call their kids things like ‘Sneachta’, ‘Grá’ and ‘Ocras’ 

  3. Tallulah Gorge is just up the road from here.
    Doctor Doctor. The Thompson Twins ?
    I lke Mustapha. As in Mustapha Dump.
    You are right that those kids won’t hve a hard time of it; but because of inherited money.

  4. well i went to high school with a candace bar who was the most pregnant teen i’ve ever seen having been tasted by most of the school sports department, i think the name was at fault, plus a lovely child in grade school named shanda…too bad her last name was lier, there were others as the late 50′s early 60′s were quite hippy dippy, naming offspring got very silly.
    i stopped going to dr. nurse yes last name was nurse and nice as it was he excelled to dr. it annoyed me making appointments and didn’t instill much confidence., dr nurses aren’t they nurse practicioners now?
    names, bring back the old time worn standards and never ever let anyone famous ever name their children on their own..applications should be needed. but that brings in the argument of licensing people to breed.

  5. If I am not much mistaken, Norway does have a law against stupid names:
    Norway has an official government list of acceptable Norwegian names. Norway’s strict name law dates from the 1800s, and is intended to protect children from any Norwegian names that sound or look strange.

  6. Norway insists on sensible names?  I don’t think I have met many Norwegians called Michael or John?  There again, I suppose I haven’t met many Norwegians.  I must take a poke around the landfill sometime.

  7. I knew a chap, Richard Balls, he hated being called Dick. I went to school with a chap, Cillian Russell, his brother was Jack, Heh! woof woof….
    I kinda like the Doctor, Professor idea, GD.
    What about President or King/Queen?, Omnipotence, Eminance or even God, that’d be a larf.

    Then there was Bonnie Tiler, the Tiler, Lino Richie, Carpet/Lino Fitter, Crawley Roofing Contractor, known as Creepy. Curl Up and Dye, Hairdressers.

    I called our cat Cooking Fat, change the first letters around. Our Cockrel was called Suck and a Norn Iron friend with Republican tendancies had a little dog called Chucky (tiocfaidh).

  8. TTT – Do your friends call you The?  Or do you prefer your middle name?

    Slab – I was going to go down the heraldic route and suggest Sir, Lord or Baron?  I don’t really go along with that kind of name calling though.

    How about the famous firm of solicitors – Argue and Phibbs?

  9. Sometimes children need to be protected from making the same mistakes their parents never made. I once met a young man who’s birth name was David. He decided to legally change his name to Nightvid… I forgot why. Also, a friend of mine knew a girl birth-named Elizabeth. Everyone called her Liz so when the time came, that’s what she changed her name to. Harmless enough, but later she meets a man she wants to marry… Guess what his last name was?

  10. Just remembered ..

    Years ago, my son used to play rugby at London Irish with a lad called Richard Dick .. who’s nickname was “Toggle” ..

    I kid you not …

  11. If there’s one name I’ll never like it’s my own …………… Enda
     
    Let’s just say if I had a penny for every time I was mistakenly called Edna, Endo, Enzo, Andy. And that’s apart from the fact that I share the same first name as our very own ‘dame in the Dail’, more commonly known as an Taoiseach.
    I once asked my Mother what in the name of fuck ever possesed her to call me that. Was it the aftereffects of the nitrous oxide gas and epidural she was given. Her reply was: “I don’t know, Luv. It just sounded nice.”
     
    Yeah, to her maybe.

  12. InnisEanna – With all due respect it’s a name that gives me a bit of bother too as I always have to look twice to distinguish the Enda from the Edna.  If it’s any consolation, Spellcheck doesn’t like Enda either. But that’s irrelevant as it also doesn’t like Spellcheck.

  13. And I’ve no relatives past or present with that affliction of a name. Maybe it’s my punishment for putting her through a difficult labour?
    I wouldn’t mind but my middle name is much easier on the ear.

  14. I have met a nice Chinese lady called Jing Jing Gong. I hope she doesn’t marry a guy called Bong, because with her double-barrelled name she’ll sound like a Grand Hotel dinner bell every time she introduces herself.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>