Smoking makes you grow older

I am amused.

I know I shouldn’t be, but I am.

You see, for a while, they insisted on printing pretty little pictures on my packs of baccy, with the general intention [I presume] of putting me off smoking for life.

They have the opposite effect.

Many years ago, the tobacco companies used to put little cards in packs of cigarettes, in the sure and certain knowledge that people would start collecting them.  They did, and some fantastic collections were built.  The pictures on the packs of tobacco have become my modern version of the cigarette card, and I am now buying more tobacco than ever, so I can collect them.

What I love about these pictures is the attempt to scare the shit out of me, when in fact they are so over the top that they just make me laugh.

Wrinkled hands

So smoking is supposed to cause wrinkles?

To prove this they show a pair of wrinkly hands.

Whose hands are they?  If they belonged to a twenty year old, then I would say the point was made, but for all I know, they just found some eighty year old and used his or her hands.  In fact they remind me of my mother’s hands, and she didn’t smoke.

Now my hands are fine.  They may not be up to the class of a baby’s arse, but considering whet they have been up to, and where they have been in the last six decades, they are in pretty good shape.  They are one hell of a lot smoother than the ones in the photograph, and I expect them to look like that in maybe twenty years time.  So what the fuck difference does it make whether I smoke or not?  My hands are going to get wrinkly because that kind of shit happens when you get old.

They have it all arseways anyway.  Smoking does not cause ageing of the skin.  Age causes ageing of the skin, and it is going to happen whether you like it or not.

Now, if they had said that quitting smoking stops people ageing, I might be interested.

But then, fuckit..

Who wants to like forever?

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Comments

Smoking makes you grow older — 18 Comments

  1. I thought not drinking water causes wrinkles. 

    Maybe if we dipped our fag ends in a glass of water before sparking them up, that might work.

  2. I thought too much sunlight causes wrinkles.

    Maybe we should only smoke indoors, in our offices and pubs and places like that?

  3. I like the one that says “smoking is highly addictive – don’t start”. I presume the newsagent is supposed to ask customers if it’s their first ever packet, and if so give them that one. Otherwise, it’s probably a bit late to be giving the message. Never mind that fact that everybody already knows.
    Then there’s the one with the picture of the guy with a giant glowing elephant’s brain growing out of his neck. But I find the moustache more disturbing in that one.

  4. It is a fact. Although  it seems to age womens’ skin prematurely; more so than men. You see a woman who has smoked all her life. In her 50’s or 60’s.  She looks like a Shih Tzu.

  5. Grandad : … I had a great collection of Cigarette & Tea Cards as a lad .. A great shame they ever stopped them, as some are now worth serious money …
     
    Ciaran : … That bloke you mention with the ‘tache, always reminds me of a 70’s porno star .. you know, the ‘tache plus safari suit & silk scarf … So its probably some horrendous sexual infection anyway … ;)

  6. Ciaran – I know thw elephant’s brain one, but I don’t have it in my collection.  Unfortunately, I chucked out some empties, and lost some real classics in the process.  It just means I have to keep buying.  :)

    TT – Skin is skin.  It shouldn’t be gender specific?  And could you leave Herself out of it, please?

    Haddock – I have a couple of complete collections somewhere [wild flowers and butterflies].  Not only do the look great, they are educational in a way.  A sad loss.

  7. Now that’s funny. I always thought that just plain living made you grow older. And think of the poor soul who got conned into posing (their hands) for that image?

    “Hey…hey you! Yeah you…old guy. C’mon over here. Let’s see your hands old timer. Yeah right, beautiful! Mind if I take a picture of them? Why? Because they look so old and wrinkly that’s why. We’re going to stick the picture of your hands all over every cigarette pack in the nation as a reason to stop smoking. We’ll say ‘Smoking makes your hands look like sh**!’ or something like that underneath. What? What are we going to pay you? We ain’t gonna pay you dick, mister man. I mean, they’re just a picture of hands, could be anybodies. Yours just look so old and nasty, why look elsewhere? Wait…what the hell you doing with that gun old man? Point that thing somewhere else! What the hell you gonna do with that? Shoot me or som….”

  8. I’m beginning to think that Pol Pot had a pretty valid point when he marched anyone who looked vaguely as if they might have a tendency towards the scientific out into the ricefields and shot them.
    Not wishing anyone any harm like ….
     

  9. tt:   Shih Tzu I think not … actually more like a tall, twinkly blue eyed, 64 yo blonde, that can most likely out shoot, ride, and run you any day.  What if I’ve got a few wrinkles, I worked really hard for them:  smok’n out side in all kinds of weather, and laughing thru life…

  10. tt:     None of the pictures are of me.   The closest in likeness would probably be Prairie Rose Henderson, the one in the middle of the “about me” pic.   

  11. Ha if wrinkly hands is the best they can do, perhaps they should take a leaf out of the aussie packs. I have to put mine in a cigarette case the pics are so disgusting. Either that or buy the ones that say “Smoking harms your baby” haha no risk there!

  12. Nice to see a bit of chatting up going on on my site?  When are Brighid and TT going to name the day?  Watch this space.

    Frank – Maybe we could do some swapsies?  For a start, I’ll swap two mouldy lungs for a hypodermic needle?

    Baino – Does the “Smoking may damage your sperm” one not worry you either?

  13. Dick – I presume you are referring to TT?  Don’t mind him.  He is a WordPress plugin that automatically contradicts everything I write asbout.

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