Do I need bigger cock?

I received an e-mail on Saturday night.

It wasn’t a very long mail but it got me worried.

What it said was "You know you want a bigger cock, don’t waste anymore time"

Now, I never even thought about the size of my cock.  Did size matter?  I began to fret.

The Doctor called yesterday, as we were to head up for some practice shooting up the valley. I told him about the mail.  He offered to help.

He said he didn’t think size mattered either. He asked to see it, so I showed him my cock.

"That looks like a fine specimen" he said. "I’ve seen one or two bigger ones all right, but that is definitely on the large size"

"Thank you" says I.

"Nice colour" says he.

"Thank you" says I.

He looked at it from all angles.  He looked at it from a distance and he looked at it from close up.

"If I had a cock like that, I’d be very happy" he said.  "It looks extremely healthy.  Does it do everything it’s supposed to do?"

"It does" says I.

"In that case, I wouldn’t worry" he said.

Great news.  I could stop worrying.

The cock then flew up onto the shed roof and crowed lustily.

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Comments

Do I need bigger cock? — 36 Comments

  1. 5h4mr0(k – It always rises early in the morning, and wakes me up. I call it my ‘Morning Glory’. I just hope it doesn’t disturb the neighbours.

    JC – How do antibiotics stop a cock from waking up?

  2. You should probably get a few spares from the nice people on tinternets. In all fairness to the cock, it can’t live forever. It needs little proteges to take over it’s duties some day.

  3. I get emails every day asking if I want a bigger cock. I don’t even keep fowl!

    They’re even telling me I need a “Personal Puss”. Well let me tell you, I’m allergic to cats, personal or otherwise.

    They’re even trying to push medication on me but I’m not sick!

    These people need to a little more research into target audience.

  4. I know, EmptyHead. I get a lot of mails offering me pussies. I’m a dog person myself, so it is a bit annoying. I don’t want my dog chasing a pussy around the house, night and day.

  5. Now that you mention it, my cock does have a thing about a neighbour’s pussy and chases it around the place. Things only quieten down when the pussy goes shooting over a fence or up a tree. It’s quite a sight!

  6. My grandmother used to have a massive mug with “There’s nothing like a big COCK to wake you up in the morning!” emblazoned in massive red letters across the front of it. She didn’t get the joke at all and thought it was just one of those bits of crockery praising farmyard animals and their uses to man.

    I used always giggle a little when she’d slurp some tea from her big cock mug.

  7. Grandad, you crack me up. I’m glad Berties 3rd Nipple sent me a link to your blog. Best bit of entertainment anyone could have during working hours.

  8. Hey grandad hows it hanging ;)

    Speaking of Cocks !
    I always wondered how did a cocktail (drink) get its name ?

    What is the difference between a straight rooster and a gay rooster?
    The straight rooster says cock-a-doodle-doo and the gay rooster says any-cock-will-doo!!!!!!! :)

    Can I say all that here ?? :)

  9. Alan – No. They aren’t paying me enough.

    Sneezy – You should take them.. They’ll make you sick enough to want the medical that the others try to sell you.

    Paul – What on earth could that have been?

    Sorry Ian, I was before his time.

  10. Has anybody seen my cock?
    My big Rhode Island Red,
    He’s mostly pink, with a little bit of blue
    And purple on his head.
    He stands straight up in the morning
    And gives my wife a shock
    Has anybody seen, anybody seen, anybody
    Anybody seen my cock?

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