Please phone me so I can screw you

Last night I got bored with making obscene phonecalls.

So I decided, against my principles to watch television.

I checked what was on the various channels. RTE1, RTE2, TV3, TG4, BBC2 and Channel 4 were all showing films I had either seen before or didn’t want to see. That left BBC1 and ITV.

BBC1 – Dance X. ITV – The X Factor. Jayzus!

What is it with these inane knockout shows on television? They get a bunch of nonentities and wannabe celebrities [everyone apparently wants to be a 'celebrity' these days] and get them to make total fools of themselves for our ‘entertainment’. They are the most boring thing ever invented. Big Brother. You’re a Star. Celebrity Castaway. They are all the same.

One thing they all have in common. They all want you to phone in your vote. Now that’s clever. Not only do they get their advertising fees, but they get you poor saps to fund them too with your premium phone costs. They make millions out of conning brainless idiots to ‘vote’. How do you think “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” is funded? Even “Questions and Answers” on RTE is getting in on the act. And ITV News!!

The television companies have discovered that there is big money to be made by screwing the public. And the public love to be screwed.

I never watch any program that invites phone calls from the public. They are always to premium lines. At least I can make my obscene phone calls for nothing.

We ended up watching “Legends of the Fall”. It was good. I like Anthony Hopkins.

It was on TCM.

The last refuge of the desparate.

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Comments

Please phone me so I can screw you — 25 Comments

  1. Also don’t forget that we are also being screwed by having to pay for a T.V. license to watch that crap. Of course that only means we can only really complain about the Irish channels.

  2. RTE is probably the most expensive tv channel in the world now

    You have to pay for the license
    You have to watch the ads (not watching ads = stealing)
    You have to pay extra to get a decent quality picture via satellite. The satellite RTE is encrypted and the only way to get it is from Sky

    .. and now you have to pay to phone them?

  3. Robert – I deliberately left out the licence bit, as I’m talking about all channels. But it is damned pricey. But I’ll get it free soon!!!

    Dankoozy – No argument there. Except that I don’t listen to the ads on principle [good old mute button!]. I do have to pay for the satellite which is a pain, as I can’t receive the signal any other way.

    And the only time I phone them is to abuse them. I use their main number. And that is free, for me.
    :)

  4. A colour TV Licence in the UK costs £135.50 and a black and white licence costs £45.50.

    Is there anybody out there these days with a black and white TV?

    ‘In some circumstances, you may qualify for a concessionary licence. For example, if you are over 74, you can apply for a Short Term Licence, which will cover you until the month you turn 75, at this point you become entitled to a free Over 75 Licence. If you are blind, you can apply for a Blind Concessionary Licence at 50% of the full licence fee. And if you live in residential care, you may qualify for a licence at £7.50 per year.’

    Having no TV I am saved the problem of deciding what rubbish not to watch!

  5. Here, as far as I know, there is only one licence that covers TV. There is no radio licence.

    However, if you have no TV, but do have a video recorder, a signal strength meter or a TV card in your PC, you still have to have a licence!

    You don’t know what you are missing though. At the last count, I have something like 500 channels not to watch.

  6. Reminds me of that joke:

    Doorbell rings and a guy answers it to discover the TV licence inspector there.

    “Can I see your TV licence?” says the inspector.

    “I don’t have one.” says the guy.

    “But you have an aerial on your roof!” replies the inspector.

    “If you look down there” says the guy pointing to two milk bottles on the doorstep.

    “There is some milk but do you see any cows?”

    Yep. Crap I know.

  7. *ahem*

    if i am understanding the gist of this conversation correctly, you folks have to PAY a TV tax? to whom? and why? don’t you have the ever-present, obnoxious commercials that pay the broadcaster for the right to annoy you, the viewer. and isn’t that how the broadcaster makes money??

  8. TCM Channel
    Ted Colorises Movies channel
    Ted’s Communist Movie channel
    Turners Communist Movie channel
    Ted’s a Cunt Movie channel
    Ted is a cunt and a Communist and he colorises black and white movies, Movie channel
    Ted Turner is a Commie who will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes, Movie channel

  9. Doc – Yes. It you have “a television or other wireless telegraphy equipment for the purposes of receiving sound and vision” it is a requirement in law that you have a licence. We also have ads by the ton, but not quite as bad as yours.

    Brianf – Another Ted Turner fan?

  10. @doc – the government, who hand most of the money back to the fuckers at RTE. we do have the ads, but they are not quite as bad as in the US, but still quite bad.

    you see they got this idea from england where people pay a license fee to the BBC who has about 4 stations without any ads on analogue, and free to air DVB-S and DVB-T. but as usual the fuckers at RTE decided they couldn’t make enough money from just a license fee, so they have ads also. its like having their cake and eating it too.

    they can’t afford much transmitting equipment either because they pay their bureaucrats too much, so if you don’t live in donnybrook, dublin 4 you are stuck with a poor quality, snowy analogue signal unless you want to pay a subscription to sky digital

  11. If you quaint Irish folk would just in the equally quaint pubs and have a non-stop céilidh to entertain culture-starved American tourists is search of their roots…there would be no need for licenses or TVs. Get back to the 19th century where you belong!

    Calm yourself, Grandad – you’re starting to sound like Rattlin’ Roarin’ Willie, and I fear for your blood pressure!

  12. i KNOW i’m going to regret this, but…what about cable? or satelite televison, where at least you get what you pay for, without the commercials…

  13. you can only get cable here if you live in the city. or one of those ugly arse disposable houses in one of those building estates where all the houses look the same. many paid satellite channels still have ads in them. there’s a few half decent channels on free to air without too many ads but with the paid satellite you just get to pay for RTE again, you get the BBC and other english channels that are already free, maybe discovery and a few other ‘paid’ channels and thats it.

    and no matter how much you pay for cable/satellite you still have to pay the license

  14. wow – that sucks, no doubt about it.

    it’s rather like…wha’s the analogy i’m looking for here…oh, i don’t know, as if we had to pay an extra tax on a normal, everyday item like, say, tea, when we hadn’t approved said tax.

    it might lead to a small dustup here.

    okay – now that i got my case of ‘the superiors’ out of the way, let me tell you what nonsense they do in Kansas City(and this aside from the tax levied to support the Spanaish/American war that is STILL being applied to every north american’s telephone bill)…

    in certain areas of Kansas City, usually areas where tourists tend to frequent, the normal .7% sales tax has quietly been raised to .8%.

    this was not put before the people to vote on, just slipped into law by the city council when no one was looking…

  15. You know what’s stupid? I don’t have cable or digital or any other signal at all. Not even terrestrial. I still had to pay a TV license!

    I nearly vomited right there in the post office.

  16. We don’t have to pay for a license and have two commercial free channels. And lay off Big Brother – I love it but don’t vote, my mobile’s just a receiver for stranded kids and a notification tool for wondering doggies! Download your movies on the PC and watch for free.

  17. Grief!! I leave yiz alone for a few minutes and come back to this…….!!

    K8 – You need a licence because you have wireless telegraphy equipment for the purposes of receiving sound and vision. In other wors, you need a licence for anything that is capable of receiving TV signal, whether you use it for that or not. F*cking crazy, but that’s the law. You have a TV which you use to watch DVDs. A monitor for PS is also required to have a licence….!

    Baino – You don’t have to pay a TV licence and you like Big Brother??? GO AWAY!

    Manuel – It’s always there as a last resort. Can’t stand Bogie though. Sorry!

    Baffled – You can read my blog any time you like. But you proved the title of the post. You didn’t read it. Not on Saturday anyway!

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